Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Rambles


Star Trek

The Babysitter (Friday’s Flash)

“Okay. Did you wash your hands?”


“Hold them up. Let me see.”

The little dark haired boy with the not quite bowl cut and the pointy ears held up his hands for Jim to inspect.

“Hm. Keep them up. Might as well practice. Do the ta’al so we can surprise your Sa-Mekh with what you learned.”

The boy made a face. He used one tiny hand to move the fingers apart on the other tiny hand.

Jim tried not to laugh. “Better. You’ll get there.” He resisted, barely, ruffling the hair of Surak. Spock had taken a bit of flak for naming his son after the most famous Vulcan, but as was typical Spock, he didn’t pay them much attention.

“Okay. So. Now, your Sa-Mekh left you in my care for the night. Did he tell you that you can have pizza?”


Jim nodded. “Did he tell you that you can’t have pizza?”


“Hmm. Well, that’s too bad. How can I be a terrible influence then? All right, sit at the table.”

Surak, who was all of four years old, dutifully scurried over to Jim’s dining room table and crawled into a seat. He didn’t need a booster seat anymore but it was a near thing.

Jim went to the kitchen and opened the box for the pizza meant for Surak and took out two slices. He took out two slices of his own pizza too, and went to the table with both.

“Yours has a cauliflower crust and vegan cheese.”

Surak wrinkled his nose. “Yuck.”

Jim laughed. “I’m totally kidding. It’s a regular crust, tomato sauce and regular cheese. You’re vegetarian not vegan.”

Surak picked up a slice and took a bite, chewing happily. He eyed Jim’s piece. “That looks good.”

“Oh it is. But it’s got pepperoni on it and your Sa-Mekh would be very angry with me if I let you have it. He wouldn’t leave you with me anymore.”

Surak agreed with a nod and continued to eat his pizza. He also got sauce all over his little face.

“You’re supposed to eat it not wear it,” Jim admonished, but not too severely. “You want more?”

“No. Maybe for breakfast.”

“Ha, fat chance on that. Your Sa-Mekh wouldn’t let you eat pizza for breakfast.” Jim got up and went into his kitchen for a wet wipe and returned, wiping Surak’s face and hands.  “PJ’s?”


He was so darn cute saying please. Just like a little adult. None of this ‘pease’ other little obnoxious children said.

He took Surak’s hand and walked with him into the bedroom where he’d left the bag that Spock had given him with Surak’s things he was to use for the night. He unzipped it and dug inside, pulling out feety pajamas.

“These are them?” he asked, surprised. They were kind of golden and brown and had a furry looking collar around the throat. “Is it supposed to be a lion?”

Surak said, “Yes. I like lions. Sa-Mekh said we can go look at them at the San Francisco zoo on Saturday. Are you coming?”

“Of course I am.” He removed the boy’s shirt and pants and then helped him into the pajamas, noting the feet were paws. He couldn’t help but smile at the image of Spock picking these out.

With Surak all situated in his absurdly cute lion pajamas, Jim took him back out of the living room.

“Okay, you can watch one program and then it’s off to bed. I promised your Sa-Mekh you’d be put to bed at a reasonable time.”



“You said I could have popcorn.”

“I did? Oh. Yeah. I did. All right.”

“Caramel popcorn,” Surak reminded him.

“Your Sa-Mekh will not thank me for getting you jacked up on sugar.”

But he led Surak into the kitchen to pop the popcorn and melt the caramel. He then mixed the two, threw it in a bowl and went back to the living room with Surak, both of them curling up on sofa to watch the show Surak had picked out for them to watch.

It was a couple of hours later when Jim sort of blinked awake at the sound of someone accessing the apartment door. Surak stayed completely asleep against him.

Spock walked in, arching that picture perfect brow at him.

“How was he?”

“Completely perfect and adorable, of course.” Jim shifted and Surak woke up, rubbing his eyes as he did so.

“Look, kiddo, here is your Sa-Mekh!”

Surak scrambled up from Jim’s lap and ran to Spock, hugging his legs. “You are earlier than anticipated.”

Spock leaned down and scooped his son up into his arms. “I am. I finished early and could not wait to return to you.”

“And to Daddy!”

Spock met Jim’s gaze over their son. “And to Daddy.”

Jim leaned over and kissed Spock’s lips. “Welcome home.”


Temporary Bond (sneak preview)

I’m just going to drop this here. Was writing the flash for Friday and this happened. So yeah. New flash coming instead of this because yeah there will be more of this. I’m sorry…Not sorry

Chapter One

Jim stepped into his quarters and stood there in the middle for a moment, uncertain how to feel or what to do.

His gaze raked over the space. Would it have to change? Did he have to get a bigger bed? Make room for someone else’s stuff?

Or would…would Spock even want that? Would he just want to keep everything the same? Him in his quarters and Jim in his. As though nothing at all had changed.

Jim had just been released from the medbay after being there for two days. Bones had said he could have forty-eight more hours. Spock too. Under the circumstances they were docked at Yorktown, because they’d been closest to their location.

And Bones had…well, he’d had to contact Starfleet.

The thing was…this was the fault of the mission. Spock hadn’t wanted this. Jim didn’t even know if he’d wanted it. Sure, he wanted…something with Spock, but, um, well, he hadn’t really had all this in mind.

They’d been stranded. The planet had been strange. Stranger than any Jim had yet encountered and something, somehow, made Spock go into his time. And that time had been irrevocably with Jim.

Thee solid days of sexual claiming. And during that time, their minds had connected, bonded.

When they’d finally been rescued they’d been wrapped up together, still naked, both of them. A tangle of limbs. Spock had been, at first, reluctant to release Jim to the crew, but then reason returned, he recognized Bones and Uhura and the others, and he let go.

Jim had not seen him in person since, but, oh, yes, he felt him. Their minds were interlocked. He got Spock’s thoughts sometimes even and he was sure Spock got his. And he felt the Vulcan’s emotions too. Confusion, irritation, anger. Jim didn’t feel the second two, but yes, he felt the first. And sorrow and fear. Because he was both sad and afraid that this was the last thing Spock would have wanted.

Bones had healed Jim all over. Jim was fine mostly. Nothing more than some scrapes and bruises and soreness. And some of that was from being stranded there and had nothing to do with Pon Farr.

Thinking the words made his quarters hot and heavy somehow. Oppressive. He tugged at his T-shirt. He hadn’t bothered with his uniform just yet as there was no need. Bones himself had fetched these clothes for him as he’d worn a medbay gown while he’d been there.

“Bridge to Captain Kirk.”

Uhura’s voice had him wincing. She and Spock hadn’t been together anymore, Jim knew that, but still she had to have feelings over his sudden shotgun wedding with Spock. And as Bones and M’Benga had advised, in the laws of Vulcan and the Federation, they were married now.

He strolled over to his terminal and sat down. He was glad he could without any residual discomfort. “Kirk here.”

She appeared on his screen, her expression one of perfect professionalism. “Sorry to disturb you, Captain. Admiral Freemont for you.”

Jim nodded. “Put him through, Lieutenant.”

Freemont appeared on his screen, his one blind on looking clouded in his scarred, battered face. “Jim, how are you feeling, son?’

“Good, sir. Much better.”

“Of course we have your CMO’s full report on what happened on Beta Ceti 8.”

Jim waited.

“Everything’s in order on our end.”


“Everything’s been filed for your new…relationship with Commander Spock. We’ve been in touch with the Vulcan High Council as well. Now, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you, Jim, that the Vulcans take this bonding thing very seriously.”

“No, sir. I know.”

“And consequently, they expect you to remain bonded with Commander Spock.” Freemont leaned back in his chair. “However, that being said, circumstances being what they were, you had little choice in the matter on Beta Ceti 8, and therefore, if you’d prefer to initiate a dissolution of your bond with Commander Spock, given those unfortunate circumstances, Starfleet will acquiesce to your wishes.”

“I understand.”

“What would you like to do, Jim?”

“Uh. I really don’t know, sir. I don’t think I have an objection to being bonded to Spock, but to be honest I’m still not even sure what it all means or entails. We, uh, haven’t had much time to talk since we were rescued.” Jim shook his head. “And it’s not only up to me, obviously. Spock didn’t have much choice either and I’m guessing he might not be fully onboard with this idea.”

“You think he wants to dissolve the bond?”

“I think it’s called sever or something,” Jim replied. “And maybe. He might. I sense anger in him to be honest. I don’t think this is the result he would have chosen for himself if we hadn’t been stranded on Beta Ceti 8.”

“Surveys are still being done for Beta Ceti 8 but for now, we’re calling it off limits to other Federation ships. We’re not yet sure what caused Commander Spock to enter into his, er, unmentionable time.”

Jim’s lips twitched, though it really wasn’t funny. But the old admiral was clearly uncomfortable with the details of Spock’s time.     

“I think Spock was just as surprised as anyone.”

“For now, you’re to stay docked at Yorktown for the next two days, Jim. We’ll reevaluate at the end of those days. Obviously if this bond interferes in your command team as it is, we’ll have to reassess that too.”

“I don’t think it will, sir. We’re well aware of our duties, Admiral.”

“I have no doubt of that, Jim. You two are exemplary examples of our finest officers. We’ll be speaking with Commander Spock as well. For now, Freemont out.”

The thing was, Jim most definitely had been interested in sex with Spock before the whole ‘Okay, we gotta’ happened. But he hadn’t acted on it. And really, he wasn’t sure he ever would. Because while he wanted Spock more than anyone, respected Spock more than anyone, loved Spock more than anyone, if he were honest, Jim didn’t have a lot of friends, not that he could trust and rely on like he could Spock and Bones, and he hadn’t wanted to lose that, lose Spock, with sexual and romantic nonsense that could and would only complicate things.

Besides, up until Beta Ceti 8, Jim had been sure that any feelings Spock had for him were most certainly platonic in nature. He’d never given Jim one reason to think otherwise. Until obviously Jim was lying under him with Spock’s tongue in his mouth and um, well, other parts in other parts. But he shouldn’t be thinking like that. Should he?

Jim had never thought he’d commit to anyone. Because obviously the person, Vulcan, being, whatever, he loved could never be his. But now, he was. But it was probably only temporary, right? Why would Spock want to be permanently bonded with him?

“Bridge to Captain Kirk.”

Uhura again. She sounded a bit harried this time.

Jim frowned. “Kirk here.”

“Captain, there’s a Vulcan priestess asking for permission to come onboard.”

“To see Spock?”

“No, Captain. To see you.”


“Yes, sir.” She cleared her throat. “Something about giving you pointers on being bonded to a Vulcan.”

Jim’s mouth hung open. “What?”

Uhura shrugged. “She happened to be on Yorktown and heard about it. She feels you could benefit from her instructions.”

Jim pinched the bridge of his nose. “Swell.”

“Should I tell her to take a flying leap?”

“Yes.” Jim sighed. “But probably shouldn’t. Let her onboard.”

The Time for Leaving

This is just a short sneak peak for a very very angsty piece I am thinking of writing. Will I really do it? I guess it depends on what reaction is and how I feel about it. But anyway, I leave this here.

Photo by Markus Spiske on

Jim wasn’t sure how long he sat on the park bench afterward. It was hours surely. It had been late morning when he’d wandered there, numb. People came and went around him and still he didn’t move. The sun changed positions in the sky, but Jim did not.

Eventually the temperature dropped, but Jim wondered if he would ever feel anything again. And if he did, did it even matter?

“I’m afraid it’s incurable, Jim.”

The words played in his head over and over again like a movie on repeat. The sad face of the doctor giving him the prognosis. The sinking feeling in his stomach. The urge to weep at first for the loss of…everything really. And then the numbness.


He’d walked right from the doctor’s office to HQ. He recalled the sad face of Admiral Komack as he’d given him the news, and his resignation. He was supposed to captain another five year mission, but that wouldn’t be possible now.

The symptoms began not long after he’d left Yorktown for Earth, the ship taking a little longer to be built than Jim wanted to spend on Yorktown.

At first, he’d ignored the tickly cough. Coughs could come from anywhere and he’d had allergies most of his life.  Then the tightness in his chest had started but he’d ignored that too. Until he coughed up blood.

The doctor told him it probably wouldn’t have mattered if he’d gone in earlier, but Jim wasn’t sure if that was a platitude to make him feel better or the truth.

He’d heard something about the radiation poisoning he’d gotten when saving the ship had never really gone away and it had weakened him and a bunch of other shit he had stopped listening to, really.

He hadn’t contacted anyone from his crew. Not Bones, not Spock, no one. Eventually they would know he wasn’t going to be coming back as their captain. But Jim didn’t want to tell them the truth. Didn’t want to see their sad faces along with the doctor’s and Komack’s.

They would contact him. He knew they would. Bones would demand answers. Probably Spock too. Uhura, Scotty. They’d want to know.  

What would Jim tell them?


A Bit of Silly Spirkness

To say Jim was startled when he entered to see Spock already waiting there would be an understatement. It was true that he was a few minutes later than he’d said he’d be. He could chalk that up to Bones, who took ten minutes longer than usual to tell some story Jim had already heard before. It was a funny story though and with Bones latest embellishments, added for purely showing off purposes, it had amused Jim even more.

But he had told Spock they could play chess at 1900 hours and clearly Spock had taken him quite seriously.

It was unusual for Spock to access Jim’s quarters when Jim was not there though.

“Oh. Hi, Spock.”

“Hello, baby.”

Jim blinked. He could not have just heard what he thought he’d heard.

“Uh. Give me a moment, okay? I want to get out of this uniform.”

Jim pulled off his tunic and walked over to the laundry chute. He felt Spock’s gaze on him, and wondered at it. He shook his head and dropped his tunic into the chute. Then reached for the hem of his undershirt.

As he did so, his gaze fell on the open heart-shaped box of chocolates lying on his desk. At least half of the wrappers were empty.

Jim turned quickly to stare at Spock and almost ran into him, for he’d moved a lot closer.

“I can assist you with that,” Spock murmured.

“Spock, have you been eating those?”

Spock followed Jim’s gaze. “I received them as a gift.”

Jim frowned. “From whom?”

He was not jealous. At all. Because he completely did not have a right. Spock could receive gifts from whomever and Jim had nothing to say about it.

Spock shrugged. “Anonymous.”

“Anonymous,” Jim repeated.

“I suspect that they are from Nyota, however.”

“Wouldn’t she have just put her name on it?”

“There was no name, but they are similar to chocolates she has presented me with in the past.”

“Oh.” Jim turned away and pulled off his undershirt. “I wasn’t aware you guys were, um, you know. Still exchanging gifts for you know, that stupid day.”

“You believe Valentine’s Day is stupid?”

“Pretty much.” Jim dropped his undershirt, so he bent over and picked it up. Spock’s hand landed on his butt. Jim froze. “Commander.”

“Yes, baby?”

Jim laughed, straightened and turned around. “Have you really eaten all those chocolates? I guess you have. Why would Uhura give you those of all people? I mean she has to know.”

Spock nodded. “She does. They are for courage.”

“Courage, huh? Take it from me, Spock, using intoxication for courage is never a good thing.” Jim stepped over to his wardrobe, took out his t-shirt, and pulled it on over his head. Then he went back to where Spock stood. “Baby, huh?”

Spock looked unexpectedly intense and sincere as he stared into Jim’s eyes. “I will use whatever your preferred endearment is.”

Jim smiled. “You don’t need endearments. You know why I keep inviting you over for chess?”

“To improve your obvious lack of finesse in playing?”

He laughed. “No. I don’t even really like it much. I used to play with Sam before he left and before I took up with you, I hadn’t played in years.”

“Then why—”

“To spend time with you,” Jim said, carefully. “Baby.”

Spock straightened a little, but green had splashed across his cheeks. “I apologize for my earlier assault of your person.”


“My accosting of your…derriere.”

“Oh.” Jim nodded. “It’s only assault if I object. And I don’t.”

“That is good to hear.” Spock made an odd sound between a burp and a choke.

“Uh.” Jim stepped back. “I think you might want to sit down, Spock, while I get you a trash can.”

“But I wish to—”

“Yeah, me too.  It’s going to have to wait, though, honey.”

Oh.” Spock’s eyes widened. “I like that better.”

Jim laughed again. “Sit down. I’ll get the trash.”

Spock nodded, staggered toward the bed, suddenly covered his mouth, and with a pained cry, threw up all over the coverlet Jim’s mom had sent him.

“Damn.” Jim eyed the half eaten box of chocolate. “This is definitely going in the trash.” He stepped over to it. “After I try one, of course.” He took a bite and closed his eyes. “Oh, my God. No wonder you ate so many.”

“Jim,” Spock moaned, sagging to the floor next to the bed.

“Oh. Um. Yeah. Sorry.” Jim went over to Spock. “Are you going to barf more?”

Spock shook his head.

“Okay, then, um, let’s get you cleaned up. And the bed obviously, too.”

“I am sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine.”

“But my declaration—”

Jim smiled. “Was perfect. I’m not a subtle guy, Spock. Patting my ass and calling me baby is the kind of blunt declaration I go for.”

He helped Spock to his feet and started toward the bathroom. “Hang on.” He leaned Spock against the wall and hurried over to the chocolate, popping it into his mouth. “These things are insanely good.”

“I thought you wished to throw them away.”

“Er, yeah. But um, why waste food?” Jim brushed hair out of Spock’s eyes. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

“Even with vomit—”

Jim laughed. “Well, not as beautiful.” He rolled his eyes. “Come on, Mr. Romance. Let’s clean you up.”

Hello Darkness, Conclusion

Okay, so I didn’t delete Hello, Darkness, instead, I ended it and created a series for it called T’hy’la Chronicles. Eventually, you will see these two again, forwarded a few years. Much will have changed for both of them, so stay tuned.

Revealing, Part 2 01/25/2019

He turned to go the other way and saw Jim standing in the shadows. Spock gasped.  He could not help but wonder, even as Jim fully revealed himself, how much Jim had overheard.

“Captain.” Spock heard the warble in his own voice, but he could not have prevented it. Jim stared at him as though he looked straight into Spock’s katra. He felt bared in a way that was quite uncomfortable to him.

A question formed on his lips, perhaps a distraction from what Jim might have heard, but they fell away, all words, all thoughts, really, as Jim took a step forward, out of the shadows in to full view of Spock.

Jim’s hair was in vague disarray, messier than when Spock had last seen him at the party. Somehow the bruised and battered eye and cheek made the blue of his eyes stand out that much more…startling. He still had not spoken a word, but those blue eyes darted all over Spock and the area around them.

Spock had a moment where he considered Jim’s messy hair could be from the activities he’d engaged in with the blonde from the party. But even if that were the case, Spock had no right to feel the rush of jealousy and possessiveness he felt just then. He and the captain were not involved in a relationship.

And it was when Jim took another step forward that Spock realized his captain was shaking. But before Spock could become unduly alarmed, Jim suddenly launched himself at Spock, pressing his lips so hard against Spock’s that it forced Spock to take a startled step back of his own.

But he recovered quickly, hands roaming up to seize Jim’s biceps, and yank him forward so that their bodies were flush together. Jim’s arms wrapped around his neck, his mouth opening to slide his tongue into Spock’s mouth.

They could have been kissing for hours, an eternity, really, and it would not have been enough. Not for Spock. There was nothing like kissing Jim. Or being kissed by Jim. He was not inexperienced. In anything really, save for kissing Jim. And now, Spock intended to experience a lot of that.

When Jim briefly pulled his mouth from Spock’s, Spock chased his lips until they were on Jim’s again, his body pushing Jim’s against the wall of the building until Jim was trapped there, held between Spock’s legs, Spock’s arms.

Spock sunk his teeth briefly into Jim’s bottom lip and the softer whimper Jim gave in response went straight to Spock’s cock, hardening him. He pressed against Jim, who gasped when he felt the hard ridge of Spock’s arousal.

“My room,” Jim whispered on a ragged breath.

“Mine is closer.”

There was a hitch in Jim’s breath when Spock lifted him up so that his feet no longer touched the ground. Jim slipped a hand inside Spock shirt to touch the bare skin of the top of his back, just below his neck, and Spock felt like he’d been scorched. With Jim holding on for purchase he nearly slammed Jim against the building in his need to take that mouth.

“Spock, room.”

He managed to nod, but still it was almost impossible to pull himself away from Jim, even long enough to get them to some place appropriate for such activities. Part of his brain told him that this was all an illusion, a fantasy he had conjured up, and if he let loose of Jim even for a moment his captain would disappear into a puff of smoke and he’d still be standing by himself at the balcony overlooking the building of the Enterprise.

But he could not risk such exposure for his captain. Not on Yorktown. Not anywhere, really. So he finally forced himself to back away from Jim, before reaching for and seizing hold of Jim’s wrist to pull him from the area.

Jim went with him, willingly, and though others might have attempted to call their attention or perhaps even openly stared at them, Spock paid them no mind.

It was true that his temporary quarters on Yorktown were closer to their location than Jim’s were as the captain had been put up in luxurious accommodations due to his status as both their commanding officer and a hero as far as the leadership and occupants of Yorktown were concerned. He knew Jim had protested that it was never just him, but he’d been given the accommodations even still. Part of Spock thought he should take Jim all the way to those rooms, because surely Jim deserved such honors and deserved any pampering Jim could get from them and from Spock, but impatience won out and he turned in the direction of the building he was staying in.

Sorry friends and readers but there is still one more part to come!

Revealing, Flash Fic 01/18/2019

Hello everyone. The good news is I have something posted today. The bad news is this is only part one and part two won’t be posted until next Friday.

Spock looked around for his captain, who seemed to have disappeared from his own birthday party. He had other matters to discuss with Jim that he had not wanted to discuss with the crew in attendance. But now it seemed as though he had somehow missed Jim and the captain had departed to whereabouts unknown.

This was not welcome, for Jim had been in the corner of the room earlier that night talking with a blonde woman, who seemed to like to touch the captain frequently.

He was aware Jim had a thing for blondes. Or seemed to. Prior to her departure from the Enterprise, an unexpected departure most agreed, Carol Marcus seemed to always be around their captain. Spock had suspected they’d had an intimate relationship, but Jim had never confirmed this. Spock had heard, though, from a comment from McCoy at the time that Jim was in trouble with Starfleet. He could only surmise it had to do with Lieutenant Marcus.

Spock had no desire to remain at the birthday party without the honoree, so he left, and went out of the building and to a platform that took him out to the viewing point of the Enterprise. This was a closer look than the one they had all gazed at together earlier during the party.

He recalled the conference he’d had with his father earlier that day.

“You are not coming to New Vulcan,” Sarek stated. There was no judgment in his tone, but Spock heard it, nonetheless.

“My circumstances have changed, and it requires I remain with the Enterprise.”

“The Human.”

Spock acknowledged this with a tilt of his head.

“I hope that he is worth it.”

Spock was only mildly surprised that his father had guessed.

He heard her footsteps before she called out to him, “Spock! There you are.”

He turned to face Nyota, who had either followed him or had anticipated his habits, he was unsure which.

“Hello, Nyota.”

She smiled at him, setting her hand on the sleeve of his shirt, as she leaned into him to give him a kiss. Spock turned at the last moment so that she only got his cheek.

Nyota narrowed her eyes, but didn’t immediately comment. She looked out over at the ship. “It’s beautiful.”


She glanced at him. “I want to talk about us. If we’re going to reconcile, truly, and I want to, I need something more, Spock. I’d been meaning to talk to you about all of this, well, before, but then when we choice to end things, and there was no point. But now, after everything we’ve been through, I want to take our relationship to the next level. We’ve talked about bonding in the past, but we’ve never gotten very far, but now that we’re waiting for the ship to be rebuilt, I want to go to New Vulcan and get bonded.”

Spock knew that this conversation was long overdue, but it didn’t make it any easier. Not for him. Not for her. But he had no choice.

“Nyota, I care for you immensely. You are dear to me and always will be. You have been a great friend and companion to me. I am, however, emotionally unable to offer you the level of commitment you require from me.”

For a long time, he felt her stare, but he did not look in her direction. He felt ashamed of his cowardliness, but he acknowledged its existence. This was the very reason Vulcans chose logic.

“Spock, look at me.”

He did, then, for it would be rude not to, and anyway, it was proper. Her expression was one of emotional despair, her mouth crumbled down, her eyebrows furrowed.


“You haven’t changed your mind, have you? You aren’t going to New Vulcan to settle after all, are you?”

“No, I am not.”

“All right, then…I’d like to understand, Spock.”

“I am…emotionally attached to another,” Spock said honestly.

“You mean you are in love with someone else?” Her voice was whisper soft.

He nodded. “Yes.”

“I see.”

“It gives me no pleasure to hurt you, Nyota, with this confession. I never intended to feel this way. I actively fought against it.” To no avail, he thought.

She turned away, looking out at the Enterprise, her bottom lip trembling. “This one you love, human?”


“On the ship?”

He hesitated and then said, “Yes.”

She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. Then she nodded. “You’ve been in love with him for a long time, haven’t you?”

Spock was only slightly startled that she had guessed who he loved, for he knew she had. In reality, he supposed, there was never any doubt, for there were only two humans he was truly close with and one of them was her.

“Perhaps longer than I was willing to admit,” he acknowledged.

She opened her eyes to look at him, and though her eyes were filled with pain, there were no tears. “Does Kirk feel the same way?”

“Unknown. I have not yet had the chance to speak with him. However, whatever his feelings, whether mine are returned or not, it would do you an injustice to renew our romantic relationship.”

Her mouth thinned slightly. “It was never your intention to get back together with me, was it? When we broke up before Krall, that was it for you.”

“Yes. I knew then I could no longer deny my love for the captain, whether I departed the Enterprise or not, it was not fair to you to continue to pretend otherwise.”

Nyota shook her head.

“I do love you, Nyota.”

“Not in the way I want. Not in the way I have grown accustomed to.”

Spock swallowed. “No.”

“I’ve been through this once already. You’d think it would be easier the second time.”


“I’m going to go now. I think it best, for the time being, that we don’t see each other, Spock.”

“If that is your wish, I will honor it.”

She said nothing more then, just reached over and squeezed his hand, and then hurried off in the direction she’d come.

Spock breathed in deeply. He did not want to go the way she’d gone, did not want to risk running into her or interrupting her grieving. He had no idea what her plans were or where she would go. In the immediate time and in the future.

He turned to go the other way and saw Jim standing in the shadows. Spock gasped.  He could not help but wonder, even as Jim fully revealed himself, how much Jim had overheard.

Ramblings January 03, 2019

Photo by Pixabay on

Hello My Friends (don’t you wish you were there at that place above)

I wish you Happy New Year once more.

Things are okay. Mother fell yesterday and had to go to the ER but she didn’t break anything, which is indeed very fortunate. She did give herself a painful, sprained knee so sister has her work cut out for her.

Tomorrow, you will finally get to read my Pinto fic as it will debut here on the blog Friday morning. I think you will enjoy it.

Saturday, we will be going to Sister’s house to finally take down her Christmas decorations. Like most of us, she looks forward to having them up, but then can’t wait to have them back down again once the holidays have passed.

Next Friday (the 11th I think it is) you can expect more from the Jim and Spock from my Christmas Flash on here. You will notice that so far they remain a blog exclusive so if you want to read about them, for now anyway, it will have to be here.

I have been updating The Experiment on AO3 and may continue to do so until it is concluded. We will see.

Next week begins the posting of fics for the T’hy’la Bang. I don’t have a specific day, but you can expect the posting of Wonderful Life sometime then.

That’s it for now!

A Happier New Year’s Flash

“Jim!” Bones yelled at him.

Jim laughed, putting his hand up to his heart. “You trying to give me a heart attack?”

“No. I’d just have to fix you. Where the hell are you going? It’s almost midnight.”

“I’m looking for—”

“Spock. Of course you are.” Bones pointed at the double doors. “He went through those.”

“Thanks.” He moved toward the doors.

“Jim, you’re supposed to do the countdown!”

He waved at Bones, opened the doors and went outside.

At first, he didn’t see the Vulcan, and turned back to go back inside after all. It was cold. Colder than it had felt to him in a long time. Snow had begun to fall and for a moment he was startled. He hadn’t experienced snow in years. There was no snow on the ship nor in San Francisco. But they were in New York for the New Year and the wet flakes hitting his face did a frigid job of reminding him of that. 

And really, now that he thought about it, maybe this wasn’t the best time to talk to Spock about this after all. Yeah, it was a new year and all that came with that, but, well, it really hadn’t been that long since—

Something moved along the edge of the balcony, just by the green bushes to the left.


Spock emerged from that area, lightly dusted in snow, his cheeks green. “Captain?”

Then it occurred to Jim. What if Spock had been out here with someone else? What if all his plans, all his calculations…everything…was all for nothing because Spock already had someone else he was interested in?

His gaze went past Spock to the greenery, trying to see if Spock had been there with someone. “Uh. Hi.”

“Are you in need of something?”

He shook his head. He couldn’t see anyone else, but that didn’t mean they weren’t hiding. “No. I…sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you or-or them.”


“Aren’t you out here with someone?”

For a moment, Spock looked confused, and then he shook his head. “Negative.”

“Oh.” Jim allowed himself a feeling of relief. “Why are you out here in the snow, Spock? You’ve got to be freezing.”

Spock tilted his head. “I needed some air and then found that I had locked myself out. I was trying to locate another way inside when you came out.”

Jim glanced back to the bushes and then frowned. “Tell me you weren’t planning on scaling the building.”


“Spock, you could have broken your neck. What about contacting someone?”

“I did not have my communicator.”

Jim sighed. “You could have got frostbite or something.”

Spock’s lips twitched. “It is not that cold, Jim. It was uncomfortable though.”

Jim stepped closer to him, eying the snowflakes in his hair. “You look cold and wet.”

“Yes. I had not intended to be out here long. I wished to be inside when you gave the countdown. You were looking for me?

”Yes, I—”

Just then they could hear the sound of Bones’ voice doing the countdown.


“10, 9, 8, 7, 6—”

Jim stepped closer to his first officer. “Spock.”


“5, 4, 3, 2…”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

“1…Happy New Year!”

Jim smiled bright, his heart light and free as Spock’s lips descended on his. Perhaps that night was a good time to confess after all.

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