Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings


Star Trek

Flash Fic, June 21, 2019

This one is based on Eveningstar’s Prompt, Jim is drunk and confesses his love to Bones, and Spock overhears.

“This sucks.”

“I know, Jim.”

Jim leaned against the wall of the hotel.

“Let’s just get you to your room, all right?”

“Being in love with someone who hates you sucks, Bones.”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“He hates me. He was going to leave the Enterprise.”

“To make Vulcan babies. And he stayed.”

Jim shook his head and then regretted it as the hall spun. “Not because of me. Because of her. They’re probably going to get married.”

He started to slip from the wall to the floor, but Bones held him up. “They broke up.”

“They’ll get back together,” Jim said, miserably. “They always do. Like a billion times. And I’ll be left with the usual broken heart.”

“Jim.” Bones stiffened. “Stop talking.”

“That’s easier for you to be so cold-hearted. You aren’t in love with Spo—”

Jim. Be quiet.” Bones practically shook him.

Jim frowned at him and tried to push away from him only to suddenly be grabbed by—

“I’ll take control of him, doctor.”

Jim peered at him through hazy eyes. “Spock?”

“Yes, Captain. I’ve got you.”

“Listen, Spock, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Jim’s drunk and—”

“I am aware. Go back to the party, doctor. I will see that Jim is safely in his room and will sleep it off.”

“I don’t…fine. All right. But I’ll come by to check on you in the morning, Jim. With something for the hangover you are sure to have.”

Somehow the floor disappeared out from under him. He grabbed onto Spock’s shoulders to keep from falling and as they entered his hotel room, Jim realized that Spock had scooped him up bridal style.

“I can walk.”


“You want me to walk while bare?”

“Perhaps another time. For now you will rest.”

Spock approached Jim’s bed and Jim put his hand on Spock’s face just as Spock appeared to be preparing to lower him to the mattress.

“You know, you’re beautiful.”

Spock’s mouth twitched. “Oddly enough I had the same thought.”

Jim nodded. “You think you’re beautiful too?”

“I think you are.”

“Where I come from, buddy, that’s a proposal.”

“You are from Iowa.”

“Oh.” Jim found himself deposited on the bed.

“You will be sleeping off your excessive alcohol. In the morning, we will be having a very long talk.”

“Submitting your resignation?”

Spock arched a brow. “No. I will get you some water, you will drink it, and then you will go to sleep. I will watch over you to see that there is nothing you need.”

Jim stared at him. “Why?”

“You know why.”

Spock walked away and over to little kitchenette sink in the hotel room. He returned with a glass of water.


“I’m the captain,” he mumbled.

“Drink, Captain.”

Jim took a sip of the water. “Why?”

“I stayed for you.”


I Will Follow You into the Dark, Chapter 2 A Wee Bit Early

“That was fantastic!” His mother exclaimed as they walked out of the arena together. “I’m so proud of you.”

Jim smiled faintly. “Thanks.”

“I’m still pissed that they put you out there in the first place. What were they thinking?”

“That we were all they had, Mom. The majority of the fleet—”

“I read the report. And they lost a lot of promising young cadets too. It’s still run by a bunch of arrogant boys.”


She sighed and reached to straighten his collar. “But a captain. And the Enterprise. That’s something else, isn’t it?”

“It sure is. It’s crazy, is what it is.” He grinned back at her. “I just hope I’m ready for all this.”

 “I have no doubt that you are. Let’s go have a celebratory dinner. Right? You deserve it. My treat.”

Jim could not deny he was pretty hungry and it was nice to think someone wanted to spend time with him. All his friends had dispersed to do their own thing, whatever that was, they’d all been given some time off, so yeah, Jim got it, and then of course, Spock, well…yeah.

“That sounds great. Thank you.”

And just then walking down the corridor from where they stood, Jim spotted the older Spock from Delta Vega.

“Hey, Mom, you know there’s someone I need to talk to, can I catch up with you later for dinner?”

“Sure. I want to check on Amanda and Sarek anyway. Meet at Giuseppe’s later.”

“Great. Thanks, Mom.” He waved at her and ran after the old Vulcan. “Spock! Hey. Spock.”

Ambassador Spock turned to face him. “Jim! What an unexpected surprise.”

Jim nodded, breathless, waiting a moment to catch his breath. He hadn’t been breathing totally right since Nero’s ship. “Are you all right? You know. After everything?”

“I am as well as I can be, Jim.” Spock searched Jim’s face. “You are quite peaked. I would like to inquire after your health as well.” His gaze dropped to Jim’s throat. “The Romulans?”

“Right. And I’m okay. Just really tired, mostly.”

“And it’s no wonder. Have you gotten any rest at all since returning?”

“Some,” Jim lied. “It’s been kind of hectic.”

“I imagine.” He touched Jim’s hand with his own before Jim had a chance to avoid it, which he would have, because Jim was well aware of the touch telepathy, and we have known Spock’s intent. Spock’s eyes narrowed. “Not just the Romulans caused those injuries.”

“Let it go.”

“Jim, when I spoke of getting me to show my emotional compromise, it was not my intention to put you in harm’s way or to interfere in your relationship with Spock.”

“It was nothing, really. Okay? He just flipped out a little. I went overboard with goading him talking about all the losses on Vulcan.”

Spock’s lips thinned. “Jim—”

He shook his head. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

“Tomorrow, yes. I will be leaving to help with establishing a colony for those of us that remain. But today? There is someone I must have a word with.”

“Did you want to have dinner with my mother and me?”

“I wish I had the time, honestly. I do not. Jim, do me a favor and make it an early dinner. I would like to see you get the rest you are so clearly lacking.”

“I’ll try,” Jim said vaguely.

“Where is Spock?”

Jim shrugged. “I don’t know, really. Last I saw him he was at HQ. Kind of out of it.”

“Then you have not talked?”

“A few words.” Jim straightened. “I should be going myself. I won’t keep you from whatever you need to do. Just…can I ask you one question?”

“Of course.”

“Where you come from, were we…you and I…were we…?”

“Yes, Jim. Admittedly far later than you and Spock. We did not meet at the Academy, let alone establish a relationship then.”

Jim frowned. “When?”

Spock smiled slightly. “I think that I have given you all the information I should.” He held up his hand in the ta’al.

“Nope.” Jim shook his head. “That’s not going to cut it, old man.” He pulled the old Vulcan close, embracing him. Then he stepped back. “It wasn’t your fault, you know that, don’t you?”

“I was the one who advised you to compromise—”

“No. Not that.  What Nero did. The loss of his planet in your time.  You tried to help them.”

“And failed. Quite miserably.”

“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t cause the star to destruct. You were trying to help and it was too late. But that’s not on you. And none of what he did, not the Kelvin, not Vulcan, none of that is your fault, Spock. It’s all on Nero.”

“If you say so.” He held up his hand in the ta’al again. “Live long and prosper, Jim. Peace and long life, T’hy’la.”

“Hey. What’s that—?” But Ambassador Spock was walking quickly away. And out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Uhura. He hurried after her.


She stopped, turned, and looked at him. Her eyes were red rimmed and wet.

“What is it?”

“Gaila was on the Farragut, Kirk.  She didn’t make it.”

“God. I’m sorry.”

She hugged herself. “So many, you know? A bunch of my friends didn’t make it. If not for hearing that transmission, we wouldn’t have either.”

“But you did. You heard it.”

She nodded. “And you knew what it meant. I heard you got the Enterprise.”

“I did.”

“I’ll be on there too. Again.” She bit her lip. “What about Spock?”

Jim shook his head.

“Give him time. He’s really hurting.”

“I know. I am. It’s just…”


“Pike told me he’s leaving Starfleet. I guess to be with the other Vulcans.” Jim blew out a breath. “I don’t know. He hasn’t told me anything. I guess that’s the answer to my question.”


“Whether the two of us are still together.”

Uhura frowned. “But…I mean, he’d tell you if you weren’t, right?”

“I don’t know. I think I hear him loud and clear.” He looked past her to the exit. “I need to go. I’m meeting my mom. And I’m sorry about Gaila. I really liked her.”

“Me too. Tomorrow some of us are getting together for a little memorial for those that died. Our fellow cadets. It’s at two in the Quad at the Academy if you want to come.” She paused. Smiled just a little. “Captain.”

“Yeah. I’ll be there. Thanks.”

He rubbed the tightness in his chest and headed for the exit, ready to meet his mom.

Ramblings of the Week June 17, 2019

As followers of my updates on AO3 know, Stranded 2: The Sequel is now live and up to two of three chapters. I *should* be posting chapter 3 Monday. I should also advise that eventually, in the not too distant future, I will be attempting Stranded 3: The Conclusion.

Up this week besides the final chapter of Stranded 2 is All I Ever Wanted and Nine Lives. And if there is time, Transfer Request. That will bring all updates into the month of June as those three were last updated at the end of May.

You can also expect a new flash on Friday, though admittedly I do not remember what I wrote for this coming week! For shame.

Supposed to be in the low 80s all week so not bad! I’ll take it.

We are seeing Men in Black: International on Tuesday. What cracks me up is that Hemsworth was quoted as saying ST 4’s story had issues but, um, he does things like MIB and Ghostbusters and the National Lampoon Vacation thing. So sorry, Hemmy, I am not buying it. Anyway, he looks cute, so I’m on board. Surely nothing could be as rotten as Godzilla.

I think that’s it for reporting for the beginning of this week.

Sneak Peek

I like to give loyal readers here, from time to time, a little peek into stuff I am working on. This is a continuation of the story “Stranded” that I am currently working on with the intention of getting it finished and up this weekend on AO3. I know I should be updating My Heart’s a Virgin, but that will wait a bit more. Hope you enjoy this little peek of what’s to come!

Spock stood outside the door of the captain’s quarters for so long, he was convinced another crewmember would come by, catch him, and officially decide he was a creeper. Odd at the least. Although, Spock was certainly used to being thought of that way.

But Spock was uncertain if he should request to see the captain. And therein lay the problem. He had been in limbo like this since the captain had been retrieved from an alternative timeline nearly three weeks ago.

Despite Jim’s vague mentioning that he would explain over their usual chess game, that had not happened. Not the explanation or the chess match. Jim had canceled on Spock repeatedly to the point Spock had ceased asking.

The captain’s behavior since returning from the timeline with talk of tattoos and role-playing had been decidedly off-kilter, even for him. He’d provided no clarification for either comment nor any particular details beyond his official report of finding himself with rather savage acting Vulcans. At least he had not to Spock. He could not say that he had not provided further details to McCoy, who always seemed to have more of Jim’s private confidences than did Spock.

Spock knew only the comments made in the transporter room when Jim returned dressed in an odd assortment of straps placed across his private parts as opposed to his Starfleet uniform. Besides references to tattoos and role-playing, the other thing that stuck in Spock’s mind was some reference to a frustrated Vulcan. It was a puzzlement.

Jim finding himself in a shredded uniform was not unusual. In fact, it had almost gotten to the point where Jim returning with his uniform fully intact was rarer. But with no uniform at all, no explanation as to where it went, and wearing bare scraps of clothing of a bizarre origin was entirely new. And disconcerting.

Though Spock had not yet officially declared himself to Jim, he had been working his way toward that. Eventually. His personal romantic relationship with Nyota had ended some months prior and she had been encouraging him to be honest with their captain. Spock intended to be. At some point.

Nyota had moved on from the two of them, was involved now with another, and had provided much prodding about Spock’s feelings for Jim.

Each time Spock thought to do so, however, he pulled back. Just when he was convinced that Jim had to share his regard, Jim behaved in some way that indicated to Spock that nothing could be further from the truth, and Spock remained silent.

Seeking Nyota’s advice on this latest happening, he had told her of Jim’s cryptic comment about role-playing. She had choked on her tea and told him that if she knew their captain, it was some sexual innuendo aimed at Spock.

But given Jim’s careful avoidance of Spock over the last three weeks, Spock had begun to doubt that was the case at all.

Though Spock had pretended not to notice at the time, both outwardly and inwardly, frankly, he had seen the telltale sexual bruises that covered certain areas of the captain’s body, what Terrans called ‘hickeys’, though Spock found the term unappealing.

From his own hypothesis, then, Jim had been sexually active during his time in the alternative timeline, and he did not act as though he had been assaulted against his will, so Spock concluded he must have been a willing participant with someone.

Given that he had stated both in the transporter room and in his official report that there had been Vulcanoids present wherever he had been, Spock concluded that Jim had engaged in sexual activity with one of them. It also seemed somewhat evident that it was with a male.

Jim was not exactly embarrassed about sex or sexuality, so there had to be another reason he was maintaining his aloofness with Spock, but he could not yet guess what that reason was.

Spock would admit to some measure of disappointment that Jim had been sexually active wherever he had been and he would also admit it was illogical to feel this way. He had no right. They were not yet engaged in any personal relationship beyond friendship, and perhaps, never would be, therefore, Jim could be with whomever he wished.

He placed his hand on the door, aware all this hesitation and rumination was getting him exactly nowhere, as it had, for the last many months of inaction on his part.

If Jim did not share his interest, Spock told himself, it would be better to learn this, so that Spock could move on, by way of an immediate transfer.

Spock shook his head. That was fanciful and emotional thinking that had no part in the way Spock actually thought. If Jim didn’t want him, surely there was no reason to transfer. Unless Jim demanded it. And if he did—

Spock blew out a breath, realizing he was about to talk himself into a panic and turn away once more. He pressed the button instead, feeling a vague notion of hope that his captain was not actually in his quarters, though Spock had seen him go in himself over thirty minutes ago.

What was wrong with him?

The door made an unlocking noise and slid open to admit Spock. And Spock nearly turned and fled anyway. Was turning on his heels, in fact, when—

“Spock? Are you coming in or what?”

“Yes. I…” Spock stepped into Jim’s quarters, swallowing heavily as the door closed behind him, preventing him from a quick escape.

And escape he wanted.

Jim stood staring at him, both eyebrows raised in question, wearing nothing but a Starfleet issued terrycloth bathing towel wrapped around his waist. It was command gold, Spock noticed, for some absurd reason. Jim’s hair was wet and plastered to his skull. Droplets of water cascaded all over golden bare skin.

“A water shower,” he heard himself say.

“Uh. Yeah. I know. Are you really here to lecture me about not using the sonic? Because, honestly, I’ve had a shitty day and—”

“No,” Spock interrupted quickly. “No lecture, Captain. A mere observation.”

And Spock had an irrational desire to command that Jim never open his door to anyone else in only his towel. But he did not.

“Okay.” Jim eyed him for a moment, before giving a small shrug. “Give me a minute and I’ll get dressed.”


“Excuse me?”

Spock found himself moistening his lips, pretty much mimicking a habit he’d caught the captain doing frequently. “I meant…there is no need on my behalf. To-to change.”

“Something on your mind, Commander?”

He said it in such a way, in a tone, that Spock guessed was meant to intimidate him, throw iced water all over Spock and his plans, really, and it very nearly succeeded in doing just that, and Spock decided the use of his title had been very deliberate, because Jim was always deliberate. But Spock chose not to give into that intimidation, that step back, Jim clearly meant it to be for both of them. Not this time.

“Yes. I am here to discuss a personal matter.”

“And you don’t think I should get dressed then?”

He hesitated. He really couldn’t demand that Jim stay standing in his towel. He wanted to, of course. And why did Jim answer the door that way anyway?

“If you wish to, I can find no objection.”

Jim tilted his head, his eyes narrowing, but he made no move to go to his wardrobe for clothing. “What is this about, Spock?”

Flash Fic, June 07, 2019

This is the conclusion of the fic that started with the Strip Poker, moved onto Tropical Drinks, The Beach, and now this one, Don’t Break My Heart.

Spock felt a spark of illogical hope as Jim accompanied him back to the Enterprise. A part of him had delayed going down to Risa after Nyota had encouraged him to do so, because he had been afraid that Jim would have already secured himself temporary companionship.

He’d been so relieved when he found that not to be the case, and indeed, the captain had been alone.

And despite Jim’s somewhat aloof behavior, which frankly over the last few months, Spock had become used to it, Jim had admitted he shared the same romantic feelings for Spock as Spock did for him. That was a place to start anyway.

Jim had left it up to Spock about which quarters were chosen for their talk, and ultimately, though not without trepidation, Spock chose his own. Because, as Jim had suggested, comfortable surroundings seemed pertinent just then. Though Spock was not even certain why.

Once inside their quarters, Spock respectfully lowered the temperature to more human tolerable warmth and watched as his captain paced back and forth, looking far too out of his normal element. This began to concern Spock.

“You-you did say my interest in you was not unwelcome,” Spock said.

Jim moistened his lips. “It’s not. It’s just that…” He shook his head and resumed his pacing.

“Your current behavior is concerning. If you do not share—

“Spock, I share it. God.” He laughed and wiped his hand over his face. “I’m crazy in love with you and have been for, I don’t even know. I’m the one who called you ‘babe’, remember?”

Spock did not allow the relief and hope to surface this time. “Then, may I inquire into the source of your reticence?”

He was surprised when Jim suddenly sat down heavily on Spock’s bed.

“I’m scared, Spock.”

He stiffened at the words that were such a reminder of a trying time, but this was not the time to dwell on such unpleasant recollections.

“Of me?” Spock dared ask, dreading the answer.

“No. Yes.” Jim looked up and must have seen Spock’s crestfallen expression. “I don’t think you’ll physically hurt me, Spock. That’s not at all what this is about.”

“I do not understand.”

Jim closed his eyes. “I love you so much. I don’t know…it’s been so long, it’s hard to remember when I didn’t.”

Spock opened his mouth to reply.

Jim held up his hand. “I’m exaggerating. I know. But basically, until very recently, the time I’ve loved you and known you, has been while you were Uhura. And you-never…” He stood up again. “This is crazy.”

“Jim, please speak plainly.”

“All those years and you never…you didn’t commit to her. I mean no marriage, no bond, and eventually you broke up and I just…”

Spock felt his heart twist. “Jim, sit.”

He swallowed heavily as Jim returned to sitting on the bed. He looked unhappy to do so, but he did sit.

Spock knelt in front of him. “You do not believe I am capable of the level of commitment you require.”

“Well.” Jim wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Because Nyota and I never took those steps. Marriage. Or a…bond.”

“I know I have no right to expect—”

Spock reached up and placed his fingertips on Jim’s mouth. “I am in love with you. Deeply and completely. I will never leave you, unless you demand that I do. Nyota and I were committed to each other in our own way and that worked for us until it did not. Until neither of us could deny that we were no longer romantically in love with each other.“

When Jim sucked in a breath, Spock realized it was the wrong thing to say to his panic-stricken captain.

“What if-what if you decide that you are no longer in love with me. You have before. And-and, Spock, I’m sorry, but if this is temporary, if a few years from now, you’re going to decide not to be with me, then I’d rather not now.”

“No one can predict the future.”

“But I can. I’ve seen you in action. You likely will fall out of love with me, and who could blame you, who would want to stay with me?”

“Breathe, ashayam.” He brought Jim’s hands to his lips and kissed both palms and each finger after, then held them tightly in his. “I have never loved anyone as deeply as I love you. And while it is true, I cannot predict what will happen, I know that my devotion to you is absolute. We can bond immediately if that will ease your mind.”


“Jim, our-our counterparts had so little time together, considering everything, and I would rather not be them.”

“They were together?”

“And bonded, my love. But for only twenty years before your death. Perhaps that is to be our fate too, I do not know, but whatever time we are to have, I wish to begin it now.”

Jim smiled a little.

“And perhaps it never worked out between Nyota because it was always meant to be us.”

“Fated lovers, huh?” The smile grew crooked. “That’s quite a bit of pressure.”

“It need not be. We love each other and both are committed to each other for the rest of our lives.”

“You make it all sound so…”

“So what, Jim?”


Spock took a chance. “Do not break my heart.”

Jim leaned forward and pulled Spock up and over him onto the bed. “And don’t break mine.”

Spock covered Jim’s lips with his. “Never.”

Memorial Day Flash

It felt good to have Spock beside him, even though Jim hadn’t even known before he stepped foot inside the Memorial that he would feel that way. That he would need his first officer there. Or just how deep his feelings had become for Spock that he wanted the Vulcan with him at all times. Something he hadn’t altogether analyzed. Not yet.

For probably longer than he should, he stood in front of Pike’s memorial. The pain of Pike’s death was one he still felt sharp and fresh though a few years had passed now. It didn’t feel that way. Not at all.

His gaze scanned the few short paragraphs that were meant to describe the existence of a single man, but didn’t really come close. Not for Jim. For an all too brief time, Jim’d had a father, as his own didn’t get the chance to be, and his stepfather, Frank, had never wanted to be. And maybe Jim had put more significance on Pike then he should have. Maybe it was too much pressure, ultimately, on the man. But Jim couldn’t take it back. Couldn’t pretend Pike hadn’t meant so much.

Jim glanced at Spock, saw him looking at the memorial with a sadness he rarely showed and Jim was reminded, all too well, that Spock would be grieving for Pike also.

After a moment, it seemed as though Spock felt his gaze and he met Jim’s eyes. For a few breaths, their gazes locked, then with a shared nod, they both looked away.

They moved on then, stopping at a few others, though more briefly, until Jim reached the aisle that would lead them to the one he didn’t want to see, but would anyway. He stopped.

“Captain?” Spock turned toward him, an eyebrow raised in question.

“Your mom should be here, you know,” he said softly, then regretted it. He frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“She was not a member of Starfleet, so it wouldn’t be appropriate.”

Jim nodded, biting his lip, then looking away. “Yeah. Yeah.”

“There is no memorial for her. Or any of them individually. Just a…plaque in front of the Federation Headquarters.”

Spock’s voice was so quiet that Jim strained to hear it. He took a step closer, uninvited or maybe unwanted, he didn’t know.

“There should be.”

Spock tilted his head. “Remembrances, I suppose, are something most Vulcans find…pointless.”

“Spock.” But that was all Jim seemed to be able to say. Any other words got stuck in his throat and seemed entirely not enough.

Eventually, he touched Spock’s arm, drawing Spock’s gaze to his for several silent moments. He couldn’t think of a damn thing to say that would make any of it all right.

Then Spock broke the spell by flicking his head in the direction they needed to go. “Shall we?”

Jim nodded, lump lodged in his throat, and turned to go down the long aisle that contained the memorials for the Kelvin. Like Spock’s mom, and the billions of Vulcans murdered, there’d been no remains of many of the Kelvin who lost their lives that day, his father included. 

When they stopped before his father’s plaque, Jim was surprised, though grateful, to feel Spock’s hand on the small of his back. He placed his own hand against the shiny plaque that listed George Kirk.

“Last time I came here, I was just a kid,” Jim said, softly. “I came with my mom. Sam, too.” He shook his head. “This was all before Frank. When I got older, I didn’t come.”

“Too painful?”

“I wish that I could say that. More…too self-involved.” Jim turned a little to look at Spock’s face, but not enough that he would dislodge the comfort of that hand on his back. Spock, of course, held no look of judgment. No censure. In fact, there was a gentle affection in those dark eyes that threatened to steal Jim’s breath. Jim swallowed. “Spock, I…”

His first officer nodded. “This is not the time or place, I am aware.”

“No, but—”


Jim turned, startled at the sound of his mother’s voice, to see her running toward him. He made a little whooshing noise as he caught her against him as she threw herself into his arms.

“You came!”

Jim met Spock’s eyes over her head and then he squeezed her. “Hi, Mom.”

She pulled back, but only to put her hand on his cheek. “God, it’s incredible to see you. I didn’t even know you were going to be in San Francisco.”

“I know. We’re waiting on repairs and I wasn’t sure myself. I thought you’d be in Riverside.”

“I’m spending the summer here.” She pulled entirely away from Jim then, her gaze going to Spock. They’d met once, during the time of Jim’s recovery after Khan. “Mister Spock. It’s good to see you again.”

“And you as well. Though not the best of circumstances.”

“Whatever they are, I’m just so happy to see you, Jim, and here with Spock.” Her eyes glistened with tears. “Give me a moment, will you?”

Jim stepped back, with Spock, as she stood before his dad’s memorial. He looked away, respecting his mom’s privacy. After all, his dad meant everything to her, and though he’d been Jim’s dad, he’d never even known him.

And Spock, well, he meant everything to Jim, so he definitely got it.

He turned to face Spock.

“I love you. I do. And I don’t want to waste even one more minute not telling you. Because it’s just…I could end up here, or you could, or both of us, I guess, and I just—”


“It’s okay, if you don’t feel that way, I just had to tell you before I burst, I guess.”

“I feel the same way,” Spock whispered. “Your affections are returned.”

Jim swallowed the lump, nodding, holding the sight of Spock in his heart, for that moment, to remember.

“All right.” His mother came over and linked her arms with Jim’s and Spock’s. “Lunch?”

Jim smiled. “Yes. Sounds good.”

“And dinner?” She teased, but, Jim also saw, there was hope there in those familiar blue eyes of her.

“Yes, dinner, too.”

“How long are you here?” she asked, as she drew them away from his dad’s memorial, her gaze sweeping over it once more, before her eyes went to the front of them.

“A week,” Jim said.

“That’s wonderful. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too, Mom.”   

Opinions Please

I am considering discontinuing Not Too Few Regrets. I am only two chapters in. To remind everyone, after a fight with Spock, Jim sleeps with someone else, and Spock wants to end their marriage.

I know JJ doesn’t want me to discontinue and delete it, and I know Kris will probably tell me what she always does, I support you. HA. Am I right?

I’m going to reveal more plot than I would normally. But since I have 5 or so readers on here only that ever comment, I’m okay with that.

My plan for the story was that Jim and Spock had a fight over Jim’s drinking. Spock thinks Jim drinks too much, especially lately, and that he acts out when he does. Jim thinks he can handle his liquor just fine and basically tells Spock to shove it. On shore leave, Jim gets drunks, Spock sees him, tells him he is drunk and should leave with Spock, and Jim refuses, rebelling against the whole notion.

Into this mix comes a setup. An admiral at HQ has never liked the idea of fraternization. When Jim and Spock initially bring up their relationship with Starfleet, he votes against it, and them, serving on the same ship together. He is outvoted. Later, he decides he wants Spock to head a science vessel for Starfleet, but Spock is clearly reluctant because of his marriage to Kirk, which is what this admiral feared all along. He also has received reports and rumors that the two of them risk themselves to save the other more than any command team.

He sets up one of his assistants on shore leave to sleep with Kirk. He has offered her a promotion. She agrees since she always thought Kirk was hot. Don’t know if she slips him something. Haven’t decided. To the admiral’s delight, it works. Kirk is pissed at Spock and does engage in sexual activity with her. Haven’t decided if it’s full intercourse or oral, etc. I don’t remember if I said in the chapters I posted.

When Kirk leaves the Enterprise after requesting personal leave, he goes to San Francisco. The admiral admits nothing other than he always thought it was a bad idea anyway. But Jim runs into the assistant, who is now guilt ridden, and she admits everything.

To Jim, this really changes nothing. He still did what he did. And well, obviously, I don’t have the rest of the plot, other than I suppose eventually Jim and Spock reconcile after Jim begs Spock’s forgiveness.

I’ve had some reader pushback on having Jim cheat and I’m rethinking the whole thing myself, because there are plenty of readers out there who already think Spock is perfect and Jim’s an ass, etc.

There you have it. Get rid of it or write it as is?

Eveningstar’s Birthday Flash

The time had come to interfere, clearly. Spock had tolerated it this long for the sake of both not making a scene and because it was a diplomatic mission with a planet considering become part of the Federation.

But even Spock had his limits.

Perula, the high exulted ruler of the planet, had taken an extreme liking to Spock’s captain. And the captain also happened to be Spock’s husband. So seeing Perula’s hands all over Jim for the last several hours had become quite intolerable even for him.  And when she had grabbed Jim’s arm and dragged him toward a private alcove, that had been more than enough.

He straightened from the wall.

“Spock,” Nyota hissed. “Where are you going?”

“After my mate.”

“The mission—”

Spock ignored her and went down the short hall to where Perula had taken his captain.

Sure enough Perula had her arms draped around Jim’s neck. But before Spock could say a word, one of Perula’s soldiers came from the other direction and pulled Jim viciously away from her and held him high up in the air.

“No!” Perula screamed. “Don’t hurt him. He’s—”

“Mine.” Spock moved forward just as the soldier tossed a crumpled Jim to the floor. Before the soldier could once more attack Jim, Spock pinched his neck. He bent down and lifted Jim off the floor and hoisted him over his shoulder.

Perula stared at them, mouth open. “But—

“I apologize, Exulted Ruler, but the negotiations are finished. Captain Kirk is my husband. I am taking him to the Enterprise.”

Spock waited in the medbay for Jim to open his eyes. McCoy had assured him that Jim was not seriously injured, just a bit battered and bruised.

“Hey,” Jim said, softly, wincing. “Ugh. Dude was a brute.”

“Perhaps next time you will think twice about flirting with the ruler of the planet.”

Jim smiled a little. “Well. You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

“No. But I was jealous.”

“You were?”

Spock nodded. “I admit I do not like anyone else touching you.” He let out a long breath. “Even casually. It is a problem.”

Jim reached for his hand and Spock took it, gratefully. “You don’t ever have to worry. I want no one but you. Forever and always.”

Spock closed his eyes and kissed Jim’s hand. “It is the same for me.”

“How long am I stuck here?”



Spock walked over to the wall and pushed a button. Another panel came down doubling the size of the bed. McCoy had shown it to him earlier.

“Do not worry, my Jim. I am going nowhere.”

For this I used her birthday wish and also one of Jamie’s sentences that said “He’s Not Yours, He’s Mine” for inspiration.

Flash Fic, May 03, 2019

Art by MyLochkatee (used by permission)

Jim was starting to wonder how long it would take for them to rescue him from whatever whacked universe this was.

The thing of it was, he’d been unlucky to be in a mirror universe before. That one had been scary, because instead of the Federation there had been the Empire. Spock had a beard and had, at one point, held him by the neck against the wall. When he’d returned to his own universe, he still wore the bruises from Spock’s fingers.

But at least he could communicate with that Spock and the rest.

In this one, whatever it was, he somehow found himself on ancient Vulcan, or so it seemed to Jim, because they didn’t appear to be very advanced at all, and none of them seemed to speak anything other than Vulcan. And damn it, his Vulcan sucked.

The moment he had appeared, he’d been set upon by a group of half-naked Vulcan warriors thrusting weapons at him, and poking and prodding him. He hadn’t been sure if they intended to kill him, fuck him, or eat him. Or maybe all three.

Then Spock had appeared, or he sure as hell looked like Spock, also half-naked and much more muscular than his Spock, and yeah, okay, he thought of Spock as his, with long hair, and tattoos of Vulcan scripts on his chest and arms.

Anyway, he had fought off several other beastly Vulcans to claim Jim. Well, not literally. Or Jim didn’t think so.

He had been brought by Spock to a dwelling that seemed sort of a cross between a hut and a cottage. He’d been unceremoniously dumped onto a heap of cushions in the middle of said dwelling, not sure if the cushions acted as a couch or a bed, and then Spock had disappeared into another room.

Eventually he had returned with food which he had foisted upon Jim. Begrudgingly Jim had eaten it, all the while asking Spock if it was poison, and getting, of course, no response, because he was hungry and didn’t know when he would get the opportunity to eat again.

After that, and where they were now, actually, Spock sat on the cushions next to Jim simply staring at him.


Spock tilted his head.

Jim moistened his lips. “Nice, um, nice tatts by the way.” Jim sort of pointed to the artwork on Spock’s chest. Spock must have gotten it because he straightened and puffed out his chest.


Spock pointed to him. “So.”

“Oh. No. Um. No. That’s not my name.” Jim sighed. Pointed to himself. “Jim.”

“So Jim.”

He laughed. “No. Just Jim.”

“So Just Jim.”

Jim blew out a breath. “Okay, whatever. It’s not like I’ll be here long enough for it to matter.” Or so he hoped.

Spock pointed at himself. “Spock.”

“Yeah. Hi. Hello Spock.”

Spock leaned forward and put his hand on Jim’s cheek. “Pretty.”

He blinked. “You-you know the word pretty?”

Spock nodded. “Pretty!”

“Er. I mean I guess.”

“So Just Jim pretty.”

He found himself smiling in spite of himself. “Spock pretty.”

Which apparently was the wrong thing to say or the right, depending on your point of view, because suddenly Jim found himself flat on his back, underneath a very heavy Vulcan.

“Oh. Um. Wow.”

Spock smiled, which sure was strange. He put his hand on Jim’s cheek again. “Mine.”


“So Just Jim Spock’s.”

“Well. Not that I’m not flattered or anything, but—”

Spock’s eyes narrowed. “Mine.”

And then he ripped Jim’s shirt in half.

It was at that exact moment that he heard the transporter activated and found himself reappearing on the Enterprise, lying on his back across it, unfortunately, torn shirt and all.


Jim turned his head to look at his first officer, whose perfectly groomed eyebrow was arched high under those bangs of his. He moistened his lips.

“Damn it, Spock. You could have waited an hour or so.”


He sighed and sat up. “I just left what is bound to be a very frustrated Vulcan.”

Spock reached down and helped him up. “If you’d like to be sent back, I can see if that can be arranged.”

Jim walked away, looking back over his shoulder. “Don’t be ridiculous. We’ll just have to role play.”

Spock stared. “Role play?”  

**** Explicit, slightly altered version now online

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