Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Rambles


Old Married Spirk

The Love of a Lifetime, July 20, 2018

And I couldn’t. That was the truth. I just hoped that when he arrived I would remember his name. His face. Sometimes all there was for me was Spock. If I forget Spock, then please just end this.

He was frowning slightly now.


“Through the bond, I feel…you are distressed.”

“It’s nothing, Spock. Just a little…unsure. I don’t want to disappoint you or Suvoc.”

“That is impossible.”

“You know what I mean. My-my memory issues.” I sighed. “God I hate this.”

“Whatever happens, I will be with you until the end,” Spock assured me.

“I know and that’s what bothers me.”


“I know. You don’t want to hear how I’m a burden to you like this. But I am, honey. And we both know it.”


The Love of a Lifetime, July 17, 2018

Spock stared at me in that intense way he had always stared at me. As though he was trying to see into me, not just on the outside, and I had always loved it. I still did. And at least I remembered that much.

“What are you thinking, Adun?”

My smile was more genuine now. I took his hand in mine and curled our fingers together. “How much I love you.”

Those brown eyes warmed. People who bought the emotionless Vulcan stories were fools.

“It cannot compare to my love for you.”

I laughed then. “Want to bet? So when does Suvoc arrive?”

“Tomorrow.” Spock hesitated. “If that is okay.”

“Of course it is. Can’t wait to see him.”


The Love of a Lifetime, Continuing Story

Sometimes I ask for death. Not in front of Spock. That would be too much. Too cruel. But to myself. I didn’t think I would have to face this.

And now I am.

Would it have been better to be lost during a mission saving others as the other Kirk was? I sometimes think…


Judging by the edge of panic I detected in Spock’s voice he was concerned again. I must have spaced out.


I missed it.

I smiled, didn’t know if it was forced. No longer cared really. I squeezed his hand. “Right here, Spock.”

The Love of a Lifetime, continuing story

I’m losing my mind.

It’s strange knowing. Sometimes I know. I think. Other times I think whatever I am thinking is normal, even when on some level I maybe know it is not. Spock says I get worse as the sun goes down. Sun Downers. And worse when I am alone. This means Spock is either trapped to constantly stay with me or he has to get me a “baby sitter”.

I try to convince him to put me in some sort of facility where he will no longer be so burdened with me. But if one thing has remained the same, it is that Spock remains very stubborn.

We will not be separated.

So he says. And so we will not be. Until I unburden him with my death. Whenever that is.

Old Married Spirk, Continues 07/06/2018

I need a title for this story. I am open for suggestions. 

It was entirely possible they could not help his mate, but it was the first positive news Spock had received in a long time. If Jim could be helped, Spock wanted this more than he wanted his next breath.

“Sit at the table, ashal-veh, and I will bring you coffee.”

Jim smiled. “It smells really good.” He sat before the plate of food Spock had put down in front of his seat with the hash browns and biscuits and gravy.

Spock put his prepared coffee down and his tea and sat beside his t’hy’la.

“Jim, when Suvoc comes he has something he wishes to discuss with you.”

Jim nodded. “Okay. Do you know what it is?”


“I’m not going to like it, am I?” Jim asked suspiciously.

“I hope that you will keep an open mind, ashayam.”

“Uh-huh. I know I am in trouble when you start dropping endearments after every sentence you say to me.”


His mate sighed. “I’ll listen.”

Spock picked Jim’s left hand up and kissed the fingers. “Thank you. How is your breakfast?”

“Yummy.” Jim grinned.

Spock allowed his own lips to form a smile. “Mine too.” He didn’t know if the healers Suvoc spoke of could really help Jim, and if they did not, Spock would remain devoted to Jim, but he had just the beginnings of hope. For now it was enough.

Old Married Spirk Continuation

Jim stayed very close to Spock as they went to the small restaurant and ordered their usual favorites. Biscuits and gravy as well as hash browns for Jim and a vegetable frittata with fruit for Spock. They’d been going there for years. Back when Jim was still an active admiral.

Spock was aware he had it much better with his beloved than his counterpart had. The Ambassador’s t’hy’la had been lost to him when Jim was only in his sixties. Spock’s beloved was now in his seventies and their years together were amazing.

He hoped to have many years still to come with Jim. With Khan’s blood, it was possible. His only regret was the deterioration of Jim’s mind. But the Vulcan healers wished to try something for Jim that they thought might help, according to their son, so Suvoc was going to come and help convince Jim to go to New Vulcan to be evaluated. Jim could still be incredibly obstinate, perhaps more so with his lapses.

Old Married Spirk Continuation

Down in the street, in front of their apartment, Spock’s gaze searched for his husband. He did not see Jim anywhere.

Normally when given the choice, Jim would go right. But if Jim left the apartment to go to the place he liked to get food from for breakfast, that was left.

Spock went left and made it half a block when he saw Jim, his beautiful, wonderful, sweet husband, wearing brown slacks that were really too big for him now, a brown plaid flannel shirt, and a brown cardigan sweater. He was looking around the crowded area looking frightened and uncertain.

He hurried to him, not wanting to waste any time reaching him.


Jim turned in relief at the sound of Spock’s voice. His eyes began to fill with tears. “Spock! Spock. I-I got lost.”

Spock enveloped him into his arms, holding him close against him, breathing him in. “It is all right, darling. I am here now.”

“I-I went to get breakfast. I can’t find the place. Is it gone? Did it move?”

He was shaking and Spock almost gave into a very emotional display of his own.

“No, kanbu.” He framed Jim’s face and kissed him. “Do not fret so. I am here and it is all right.”

Jim nodded.

“If you still want to pick up breakfast, I will take you there.”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

Spock smiled gently. “I was very surprised.”

Jim smiled back and slid his hands over to Spock’s holding them. “I should have just woke you up and had you come with me.”

“Indeed. Next time you will.” He kept Jim’s hand in his as they made their way to the breakfast place that had breakfast to go.

Ramblings of the Week, June 17, 2018


As you know, I finished Stay and updated What Happened to Spock this past weekend.

My lonely days and nights are over as my sweetie came home late Saturday night. Yay!

Tuesday will be the latest update on my Old Married Spirk story.

I intend to get to When I Loved You and Anything this week. Possibly also Nine Lives and/or The Sight.

Coming up at the end of the month we’re off to Vegas for the sister’s birthday. We’ll be gone the 28-30. Then it will be about time for the 4th of July. It’s on a Wednesday which makes for a little more of a challenging celebration. We’ve already been invited to the cousin’s on the 3rd as her city always does their fireworks a day early. She has a great location up on a hill to see them. We’ve gone the last like 3 years there so I am pretty sure this will be our 4th year doing that. We’ll have food and drink first. The 4th will be at the sister’s house, and then it’s back to work the next day. Boo.

I think that’s about all I have to say now.


This turned out a little more sorrowful than I originally intended and I almost just deleted it thinking it was too sad. But what the hell. Here it is.


Jim found him tending his garden, knelt in the dirt, fingers in the soil. His shoulders were slightly stooped, but really that was almost the only sign of his age. That and the black hair now liberally streaked with gray.


He looked up at the darkening sky. It was not quite four but this time of the year it got dark far too early. Plus Jim was fairly sure a storm was coming.

Spock looked up from the garden he tended. His lips quirked just slightly when he took in that Jim had bundled himself into his warmest coat. “You should have stayed inside, t’hy’la. It is cold out here. I will be in soon.”

“To think I used to be always hot,” Jim replied. “While I’m grateful for the extra time I got from that super blood, it would have been nice to have a few other perks.”

“The fact that you are still with me is all that I need. I will warm you up later.”

Jim smiled. “Is that a promise?”

“Of course.”

Jim looked down at what Spock was growing. “Your onions are doing great.”

“Indeed. I will be harvesting them tomorrow and most everything else, too. The weather is turning too cold to grow much of anything much longer.”

He sounded wistful and Jim hated that. He should have let them move to a climate better suited for Spock’s wanting to grow things.

“Speaking of onions,” Jim said instead. “I’m making potato leek soup and we’ll have hot fresh baked rolls with it.”

“I look forward to it.”

There didn’t seem much else to say and Jim really was cold.

“Okay, I’ll see you inside.”

“Yes, t’hy’la.”

Jim bit his lip and turned to go back into the farmhouse. He paused on the porch to look back. The thing he feared most, more than any other in this lifetime, was that he would outlive Spock. He would ensure that it would not be for long, should that happen, but it still plagued him. In the other universe, Spock had died saving the Enterprise, he knew that. And the other him had endured it. Somehow. And in the end he’d made sure Spock lived once more. Yet, that Spock had died alone without Jim, anyway.

He watched as Spock stood with still a great amount of grace. He wiped the dirt off his robe and turned toward the path to return to the farmhouse himself.

Spock arched his brow when he saw that Jim still stood on the porch.

Jim pulled him up the stairs and wrapped his arms around his Vulcan.

“I am still covered in dirt, ashayam.”

“I don’t care.”

Spock leaned his head against Jim’s. “You did not return to the warmth of the house.”

“I know. It’s not warm without you.”

“You are most—”

“Illogical. Yeah.” Jim pulled back and smiled at the Vulcan that was everything. “I love being your illogical human.”

Spock’s hand came up to caress Jim’s cheek. “You do it so well.”

He laughed then and soundly kissed his husband. “I love you. So much.”

“And I worship and adore you.”

Jim took Spock’s hand and led him inside the farmhouse.

And it was indeed…warm.

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