Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Rambles



Ramblings of the Week, October 09, 2017


So I had a mini-meltdown on Saturday, not going to lie. I had a headache since the day before that and it would not go away. I didn’t sleep well. I woke up groggy and unrested and depressed.

Circumstances conspired against me to bring me to an ever lower place and I wrote a post saying I was going to change the blog, which I later deleted. I actually considered deleting the blog as well as my tumblr account. I hit delete on that probably five times and the only thing that stopped it from happening was it wanted my password and I couldn’t remember what it was.

Then I got that out of left field comment on For the First Time and I lost it. I somehow managed to update You are the Light but damn it dragged me further down. I was glad I got it done, honestly, but it managed to just make me so much sadder.

I’m a creator of my own stress at times as definitely certain people will tell you and promises I make to strangers definitely comes under that category. I promised I’d get an update done and I did.

I had to lighten things for myself as best I could and believe me the news I see everyday makes that difficult indeed. And even though I told myself I have no time for challenges (OMS for instance. I did it last year, I just can’t do it this year) and special holiday stories (the now world famous Professor Spock story was a Halloween story, HA), I decided I had to write one for my own sanity. I needed something fun and lighthearted. I wanted a heroic Jim, a hurt Spock. I wanted a love story that would make ME melt. And so October Romance has arrived. Halloween is in three weeks. And this story will be done by then. I have no idea how long it will be or any of that and it’s even likely it will be done before that day. Because this is what I must work on for now.

Otherwise, my weekend was okay. I did some necessary shopping on Sunday. Got some new coffee to try. Bought some wine. Watched the Halloween Baking Championship on Food Network. Saturday watched some movies that are just so over the top and I’ve seen so many times they couldn’t possibly scare me. They are like old friends.

Anyway, so I am taking it easy this week and doing fluffy. For those waiting for angst I hope you will be patient. Who knows where I will be next week. It may be an angst fest!

I know I owe readings to some others who have updated, and I WILL get to them.

Until next time, Live Long and Prosper.


Okay Yes I Changed My Mind

Again, yes.

I’m all over the place today. I feel bad. My head hurts. I’m emotionally drained.

And yet I still must deal with rude, mean people. Somebody posted on For the First Time in My Life I was Happy on like Chapter Fucking Five that she thought she was supposed to be reading a Spirk story not a story with Spock and his fake relationship. And that’s what tags are for. Now fucking, seriously? Why in the world do people have to be so damn rude? It IS a Spirk story. I just don’t get it. Am I insane or are they?

You don’t have to read my work. You don’t have to like me. You don’t have to trust me. You don’t have to give a damn. I get it.

But I am weary of it.


So anyway, today I am just watching stupid stuff. The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Halloween. Now I am about to watch The Fog.

I have been crying and depressed all day and that was just the straw.

So if I am short with you. Or mean. Or ignoring you. Or whatever…this is why. Because damn it’s hard right now. The news is depressing. And now I can’t even escape with my writing.

And yes I am ranting. And yes you can say “Fuck You” to me if that makes you happy.

But I am weary of it.

What Am I Listening To

As I have surely said before, music inspires me. Whether I am just trying to get through the dreary day at work or thinking of my latest Spirk story.

Here’s where my music love is going right now:

Keep Forgetting by Michael McDonald

Turning Page by Sleeping at Last

Drop Dead Beautiful by Britney Spears

Everything by Lifehouse

Somebody to Die for by Hurts

Believer by Imagine Dragons

Cry for You by September

I Don’t Deserve You by Paul Van Dyk (featuring Plumb)

Stay by Hurts

In My Veins by Andrew Belle

Comfort by Phil Campbell


These are always changing, of course, but this is my current crop.

Videos Saturday

It’s time for some videos!

Some are not safe for work or probably your mom, or grams, or your landlady or kid, etc.


Flash Fic Friday, September 15, 2017

My prompt was “We need to talk” from Spock, leading Jim to believe the worst.


“We need to talk.”

Cryptic and ominous words thrown Jim’s way just before the shift began.

And now they were almost all he could think about.

All they were doing was star mapping at present. So Jim was sitting there in his captain’s chair wondering what in the world Spock had meant.

It had to be bad. Those four words never led to anything good.

Maybe Spock wanted to leave Starfleet after all. He’d learned well after the fact that Spock’s break up with Uhura had been because he intended to go to New Vulcan to help with the rebuilding of the race. He’d apparently changed his mind but it was quite possible even probable he had changed it back.

According to Bones, the scuttlebutt on the ship was that Spock and Uhura had briefly reconciled after his rescue of her on Altamid but that by the time the Enterprise had been rebuilt with the ‘A” added, things had cooled between them once more. Uhura wanted more emotional attachment than Spock had been prepared to give.  There were even whispers that Uhura was seeing Scotty now.

Which meant there was absolutely nothing to keep Spock on the Enterprise.

What was Jim going to do without Spock? Could he beg Spock to stay? Hell, Jim had never begged anyone for anything in his life and he certainly wasn’t about to fucking start now.

Jim stood. “Spock, you have the conn,” he called over his shoulder as he entered the turbolift. He gave the order for the medbay.

Bones was with a crew member when Jim first stepped inside the medbay so with a vague smile at the nurse on duty, Jim went to wait for his friend in his office. He wasn’t even sure what he expected Bones to say, but he needed an ear right now. Or a shoulder, maybe.

But apparently whatever was going on with his patient was more complicated than he realized, so Jim ended up leaving the medbay without ever seeing Bones.

He returned to the bridge, conscious of Spock’s stare as he sat fidgeting in his chair.

Another few hours passed when he was commed by Bones.

“Jim, you wanted to see me?”

“No, never mind,” he said quickly. He certainly couldn’t talk here.

“If you’re sick—“

Jim heard Spock get out of his seat and walk over to stand next to him. He glanced at his first officer. “No, Bones. Not sick.”

“A headache?” Bones guessed.

“No, no, nothing. I’ll talk to you later.” He cut Bones off mid-word.

“Are you unwell, Captain?” Spock asked. “You did leave the bridge rather abruptly.”

“I’m fine, Commander.” He gave Spock a reassuring cocky smile.

When his shift was finally over, Jim raced for the turbolift shutting it in Sulu’s face so he could get away from Spock. He felt a bit guilty about it but not too bad. The longer he delayed hearing that Spock was leaving him, er, the Enterprise the better.

The first place Spock would look for him was his quarters so Jim hid out in Engineering. If Scotty found it odd he suddenly had a new assistant for a few hours he didn’t say so.

Finally, he was too exhausted not to head for his quarters but as he went down the corridors, he looked around every corner to be sure Spock wasn’t lurking, waiting for him.

He closed and locked his door once inside with a great deal of relief.

Thank God on this new Enterprise he didn’t have to share a bathroom with Spock.

Jim took a quick shower and dressed in loose fitting soft cotton pajama bottoms and a thin T-shirt. And when he removed his shirt, he remembered he had something to give to Spock. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten it and hadn’t already given it to his first officer.

He removed the holo pic from his drawer and looked down at the picture of Spock with his mother. He was probably about twelve or thirteen in the picture and he looked so very Vulcan. His mother was smiling but of course Spock was not.

His door chimed and without even thinking about it, he called, “Come in.”

And of course it was Spock.

Damn it!

He set the holo picture down for the moment and turned to his stoic first officer.

“Look, I-I know what you’re going to say,”

Spock blinked at him. “You do?”

“Yeah.” He blew out a breath. “I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. I’ve been afraid ever since I heard you and Uhura broke up for good.”


“And you have to do what you have to do, I get it, but I really wish you wouldn’t,” Jim said softly. “I don’t know what I’ll do if you do.”

Something shuddered behind Spock’s dark eyes. “I do not need to do it.”

“Yeah?” Relief flowed through him and he smiled wide. “Really? I was so sure you were going to.”

“It was never my intention to upset you or make you feel uncomfortable with my declaration, Captain.”

“Ever since you said we needed to talk I’ve been freaking out.”

Spock straightened. Became stiffer still. “There is no need to freak out. I am Vulcan and can put aside my feelings in this matter so that I will suffer no emotional compromise.”

“Oh. Well. Damn.” Jim put his hand on his stomach. He was feeling queasy again. “If-if it means so much to you, I won’t stop you.”


Jim looked away. “It’s selfish, I know. I just…I don’t want you to leave. I’ve told you before I don’t know what I’d do without you, and hell, I know that’s way too needy.”

“Leave? You want me to leave?”

Jim’s eyes widened as he looked back at Spock. “No! Never. But if you want to, it’s wrong of me to stop you.” He swallowed. “There were so many times when Uhura held you to her with emotional manipulation. I hated it. You never deserved that. And I can’t be like that. I would never hold you here if you didn’t want to be.”

“I do not understand.”

“Well neither do I!” Jim exclaimed. “It’s just that I love you and—” He slapped his hand over his mouth the second he realized what he’d said. But it was too late. Spock had clearly heard. There was no mistaking it. He lowered his hand and opened his mouth to say ‘totally in a brotherly way’.

But then Spock was suddenly kissing him, devouring him, pushing him against the bulkhead of the ship, with such fervor, such need, that Jim knew then that Spock didn’t view him at all as a brother.

Thank God.

A long time later, Jim stirred in Spock’s arms. “Does this mean you aren’t leaving?”

“It was never my intention to leave.”

“Well. What did you want to talk about?”

“I wished to ascertain whether you were in agreement to begin a romantic relationship with me,” Spock said in his snootiest voice.

Jim laughed. “Oh. Well. I guess you have your answer.”


“Hey. I have something for you.” He slipped out of Spock’s arms and patted naked over to his desk where he’d left the picture. He brought it over to Spock. “They found this in the wreckage of the ship and gave it to me when they were giving me some of the crew’s personal effects.”

Spock’s hands closed over it wistfully. “I thought it lost forever.” He paused. “Like her.”

“Oh, honey.” Jim hugged him.

Spock pulled him tight against him. “You have given her back to me in this small way. And you have given me the greatest gift I could ever imagine in you.”

“I love you,” Jim whispered. “I think…I’ve always loved you.”

Spock kissed him. Put his hand over Jim’s heart. “Taluhk nash-veh k’dular, t’hy’la.”

Rambles of the Week, July 24, 2017

55049_pplBaby Pie

Resuming my ramblings of the week post.

This week my boss is off on vacation and all I can say to that is, “Yay.”

I went ahead and posted Primal Lust but it is most definitely NSFW.

This weekend I also finished Dating a Vulcan. It felt so good to get a story finished.

I have not yet begun the next chapter of Didn’t We Almost Have it All but I do know what happens in the next chapter because I have played it through me head.

Last week of July already. I swear I will be posting about Labor Day and Halloween in no time. I haven’t yet decided if I will do any Halloween themed Spirk stories. Right now I am leaning toward no, unless inspiration hits me.

In a surprise move to all, I think, my next chapter of Tonight may have a little top Jim, but don’t get used to it. For this story I just want them to go at each other every which way they can.

Speaking of July, for us the temperatures are pretty average for July. I dread August though. Supposed to be in the low 90s all week, which as I said, is fairly average for us.

And finally, I read a story on AO3 posted right after mine that is incredibly hot and very well done. It’s NSFW either but man….It’s called Animal and it’s way out doing MY story in popularity but it is Jim/Spock only so that’s probably helping. Check it out if you haven’t already.

More Videos for the Spirk Lover

Probably my personal favorite version with Somebody to Die For

This one is new to me but it’s “Star Trek” rather than Spirk

One of my favorites of that include this song, Somebody to Die For, doesn’t appear to be available anymore on Youtube. Bummer, good thing I saved it.

I like this one mostly because I like the song from Hamilton

This is where my title for my T’hy’la Bang story came from

Another one where I love the song

Of course everyone loves this one


Spirk Videos for the Depressed

Feeling down so I turn to my Spirk videos. I am sharing some of my favorites here but you’ve likely seen most or all of them. I have hundreds of times.

Classic of course


Short but oh so hurty

A favorite


This one combines both

I have three different versions of Spirk videos with this song!

An oldie but a goodie

Love this one cause she uses so much of their parents

This one is Jim focused but it’s one of my all time favorites. And as we know, I am Jim focused too

Flash Fic Friday, July 14, 2017

My prompt this week was “Irritation”.


The air was heavy in their quarters when Jim stepped inside. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it but there was something a little off about his husband.

And it was also unbearably hot.

He immediately tugged at the collar of his uniform.

“Computer lower temperature twenty degrees,” Jim called out.

Spock, who was at the terminal, glanced up at Jim, his dark eyes stormy.

“Uh, sorry. It’s really hot in here.” He paused to take in the cold look of his husband. “Are you mad at me?”

“Vulcans do not get angry,” Spock returned coolly.

Normally, Jim might have teased Spock and said that it was his human side that was mad then, but he had a feeling that wouldn’t go over well, so he just smiled and removed his tunic.

“Did you eat?” Jim asked as he tossed it on the bed.

Spock rose, walked around the desk, and snatched up Jim’s tunic. “Is that where this goes?”

“No.” A smile. “Did you eat?”

“Considering you have been gone for hours, I would have thought you would not expect me to wait for you.”

Jim kept his smile. “Good point.”

Spock sniffed. “You are inebriated.”

“I had a few drinks with Bones,” he said easily.

“You spend too much time with him.” His voice was low and almost a growl. Spock turned away and placed Jim’s tunic in the laundry chute.

Jim decided to let that go. He went into the bathroom, stripping out of his undershirt as he did so. Even twenty degrees cooler, it was far too hot in their quarters. Spock usually kept the temperature down for Jim’s comfort. Apparently that was not the case tonight.

He splashed water on his face and then rubbed soap in, washing away the day’s dirt. He really did smell like alcohol, which he knew Spock found unpleasant, so he brushed his teeth too.

Spock stood on the edge of the bathroom watching him. “Water is everywhere,” he admonished.

“Uh.” Jim looked at the sink. “Sorry. I’ll—”

“I will clean it up,” Spock said, pushing him aside. “You will just spread it around.”

Jim tamped down his own irritation with effort and reached for a towel to dry his hands. “Spock, are you—” He put his hands on Spock’s upper arms.

“Your hands are wet,” Spock snapped, pulling out of Jim’s grip. “I have never understood how a brilliant starship captain is incapable of drying his hands properly.”

“Sorry,” Jim mumbled. He went to pick up his undershirt, but Spock had already scooped it up. Jim turned and left the bathroom. He took off his boots and pants, putting the boots in the closet, and the pants in the laundry chute, even before Spock came out of the bathroom. He slipped out of his briefs next and reached for his sleeping shorts.

When he turned around, Spock was standing just inside their quarters staring intently at him. He tried another smile.



Jim didn’t push it. Instead, he pulled on a tank top, and went over to the replicator.

“You are going to eat now?”

“Yeah. I’m hungry. Didn’t eat before.”

Spock said nothing to that though Jim could definitely feel his disapproval through their bond. Which, by the way, was thrumming with irritation. Jim decided, for the moment, to ignore it. Whatever had his husband in a tizzy, he imagined Spock would get around to telling him eventually.

He chose a chicken sandwich because it would be easier to eat at his desk, so with the plated sandwich, he headed to the desk and the terminal.

“You are not going to bed?” Spock asked.

Jim resisted the urge to say since he intended to eat, obviously not. Instead, he practiced his smile once more. “I have a report that has to be done tonight.”

“You had a report you knew had to be finished tonight and yet you continued spending hours drinking excessively with Doctor McCoy.”

The smile became just a little harder to form. “It was not excessive. I had a couple of drinks.”

Spock said nothing to that. Just sort of glowered.

“Did you meditate tonight, Sweetheart?” Jim asked then as he pulled up the report he had to finish.


When Spock did not elaborate further, Jim picked up his sandwich, took a bite, and then began to work.  After a few minutes, he realized Spock had moved quite a bit closer to the desk and was now sitting on the edge, staring at Jim with heated eyes.

“Hi,” he said softly.

Spock did not reply but his gaze lowered to Jim’s lips and then down to Jim’s body. Even though Jim wore a tank top and shorts he suddenly felt very naked.


“Yes, Jim?”

“You’re not angry with me?”

“I am not.”

“Yet you are acting—”

Spock scooted closer.

Jim licked his lips.

Spock grabbed his wrist and pulled it from the keyboard.

“Hey! Spock, what are you—”

“You will cease working and come to bed,” Spock ordered.

“What? Who do you think…?”  Jim’s stomach suddenly dropped. “Oh, fuck. You’re-you’re–”

He was pulled to his feet. Then the room lurched as Spock picked him up and slung Jim over his shoulder.

“Wait! Spock. I have to notify Bones and—”

He was slapped on the ass.

“O-okay. You notify Bones then.”

He found himself thrown on the bed as he watched a very flushed Vulcan pull out a communicator. “Doctor, we will be busy for approximately three point five days. Do not interfere.”

“Three point five days? Spock, what are you—”

“Spock out.”

“Wait, you stupid hobgoblin!”

Spock closed his communicator and tossed it across the room.

He pounced on the bed, laying on top of Jim, crushing his mouth over his.

Jim broke the kiss with a huge gulp of air and before Spock could dive back in, he said, breathlessly, “Not that I’m complaining but—”

“You are complaining.”

“Okay.” Jim licked his lips. “But a little more notice would have been ideal.”

“Acknowledged,” Spock said in the softest of voices and for a moment Jim thought, well, maybe it wasn’t what Jim thought after all. But then he saw the wicked, possessive gleam in Spock’s eyes just before he tore the shorts from Jim’s body.

Okay, for sure.

Pon far.



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