Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Rambles


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Bonding (Chapter 1)

Hello there. I have decided to start a new Blog Fic. Eventually, probably, it will make it to AO3, when much further along than it is now. It’s going to be very angsty to start with, so fair warning. This is a first person fic, in Jim’s POV, since I am a Jimmer.  I will post chapters as I write them, no particular day. Without further ado, here’s the first chapter.


Today all hope is lost.

Not that I ever really had any. I learned long ago that hope was for others whose last names weren’t Kirk.

Today Spock came to me to advise his commanding officer that he and Uhura were planning on officially bonding on New Vulcan prior to the launch of the new Enterprise.

They had reconciled after the events of Altamid and their connection was now deeper than ever.

I wished them well and declined to attend the intimate ceremony, advising that I had plans of my own, spending time with my mother in Riverside.

I departed on the next transport ship leaving Yorktown for Earth.

Bones had joined me, not with the intention of going to Iowa, but to make his own uncomfortable journey of spending time with his daughter in Georgia. We were both solemn and quiet.

We departed each other’s company, temporarily, in San Francisco. He would continue on to Savannah on a shuttle and I would continue on to Riverside. If he noticed I held on to him a little longer than I should have, he didn’t comment on it. With promises of keeping in touch, I got on the shuttle without looking back.

I typed a message to Mom, letting her know I was on my way, and she responded right away that she would pick me up. I slept on the shuttle, because there was nothing to do but drink or sleep, and my mood was too despondent to drink.

True to her word, she was waiting for me when I got off the shuttle. She looked good. Much better than the last time I had seen her. Less haggard and tired. She’d lost weight and even wore some makeup.

“Hello, darling,” she greeted me, pulling me into her soft embrace. And it was then that I couldn’t help it, couldn’t keep it in even one minute more. The tears fell. “Oh, Jim. It’ll be all right.”

I nodded and pulled back, wiping my eyes.

She smiled. “I have all your favorites planned for dinner. All homemade. None of this replicated crap.”

“You didn’t have to do all that,” I mock protested. Because I was glad she had and we both knew it.

She linked her arm in mine as we left the shuttle bay for her hover car.

“I have another surprise for you.”


“It isn’t bad,” she assured me. “Or I don’t think it is. Sam’s coming at the end of the week.”

My steps faltered. “Sam?”

Mom bit her lip. “I know you haven’t seen him since—”

“He took off and left me alone with Frank when I was thirteen,” I said. “Yeah, trust me, Mom. I know.”

“I want us to reconnect as a family again, Jim. Franks gone, thankfully, and you and I both have time, you before you go back out on the new Enterprise, and when Sam mentioned wanting to see us, how could I say no?”

“I could have.”

“Jim.” She said his name softly, sadly, and what else could he do but give in?

“Okay. I’ll try, Mom.”

She hugged him again and then grabbed his hand, pulling him to their hover car.


The Love of a Lifetime, July 20, 2018

And I couldn’t. That was the truth. I just hoped that when he arrived I would remember his name. His face. Sometimes all there was for me was Spock. If I forget Spock, then please just end this.

He was frowning slightly now.


“Through the bond, I feel…you are distressed.”

“It’s nothing, Spock. Just a little…unsure. I don’t want to disappoint you or Suvoc.”

“That is impossible.”

“You know what I mean. My-my memory issues.” I sighed. “God I hate this.”

“Whatever happens, I will be with you until the end,” Spock assured me.

“I know and that’s what bothers me.”


“I know. You don’t want to hear how I’m a burden to you like this. But I am, honey. And we both know it.”

Rambling Update, July 18, 2018

So what am I working on at present?

Well, I started the next chapter of Nine Lives. I feel like I need to move forward with this story. It’s been fun to write but Spock has been a cat for a long time now and I feel like there needs to be payoff here soon. So that’s where my thoughts are going with that story.

Otherwise I am preparing to begin penning/typing the next chapter of My Devotion. The other day I was looking at my statistics and there are a crazy insane amount of subscribers to that story. I don’t know if all of those people are still reading it but it was great to see the interest there anyway.

Everyone has their favorites and everyone wants those updated faster and next, of course, and I totally get that, so I try to update as in order as I can but also with the idea of current popularity in mind, which is why you saw some frequent updates on Idiots in Love.

As I indicated prior, though, I am coming up on a very busy month for me, August (not to mention expensive), so I will do the best I can. I am going to Solvang, the Hollywood Bowl, and San Diego, one right after the other after the other.

This weekend, I believe anyway, that I have it free. Thankfully! Then beginning with the last weekend of July (mom’s 92 birthday), I go in to the busy period until the end of August.

So anyway, look for Nine Lives coming soon. And we will see after that.

The Love of a Lifetime, July 17, 2018

Spock stared at me in that intense way he had always stared at me. As though he was trying to see into me, not just on the outside, and I had always loved it. I still did. And at least I remembered that much.

“What are you thinking, Adun?”

My smile was more genuine now. I took his hand in mine and curled our fingers together. “How much I love you.”

Those brown eyes warmed. People who bought the emotionless Vulcan stories were fools.

“It cannot compare to my love for you.”

I laughed then. “Want to bet? So when does Suvoc arrive?”

“Tomorrow.” Spock hesitated. “If that is okay.”

“Of course it is. Can’t wait to see him.”


Messing Around


Jim flopped down on his bed in the dorm and groaned. “Oh my God.”

Bones was already rising from the bed next to him, reaching for his medical bag. “You’re sick? What happened? Someone slip you something? You get into a fight? I have a hypo for that.”

“No, Bones. I’m not sick.”

Bones paused, hovering over Jim. “Not sick?”

“No.” Jim sighed and closed his eyes. “I just had the most amazing sex of my life.”

Bones sat down and buried his face in his hands. “This is about sex?”

“No. Not sex. Sex.”

“I’m too tired for this. With who?”

“Uh. Well. That’s it.”

“What is it? And I know I’m going to be sorry I asked.”

“I, um, don’t know. But God it was incredible. He was.”

Friday’s Musings (07/13/2018)

Friday, I finished Unbonded. This story was started at the end of May 2017, but it’s finally complete. I think this was another idea that came out of a one-shot idea that ended up being not a one-shot. I still closed it at under 20,000 words because try as I might, I am not particularly wordy.

That leaves me with the following WIPS:

My Devotion

All I Ever Wanted

The Sight

Young and Beautiful

Idiots in Love

The Love of a Lifetime

Where My Demons Hide

Didn’t We Almost Have It All

What Happened to Spock

Nine Lives


When I Loved You

The Experiment

Some of those were started quite recently and others have been around for quite a while. In the coming months (July-August) I anticipate having Anything finished and likely Idiots in Love.

This all doesn’t count Bitter Frost, which is still on hiatus and I am unclear if I will ever finish it. I started off with a lot of excitement and enthusiasm for that story but it has quite frankly died. I can’t even say why. So we will see.

When all of these are finished, if I haven’t started yet another story, which you never know about me, I will have to decide if I will continue writing Star Trek fanfiction. I have been at it since 2013 and that’s a long time. I dearly love Star Trek and Kirk and Spock specifically, so it would be hard for me to quit it all together. I can’t keep up with my brain these days. I’m always thinking of new ideas and unable to write them in a timely manner, which has absolutely, clearly, lost me some readership. I’ve seen readers come and go over the years, which I think is normal for this type of thing, but I also know there are those still on the site that have given up on reading my work. I may be fooling myself, but I don’t think it’s that my quality has gone down, but rather they don’t want to follow ongoing stories. I do understand that. And you never know if someone will disappear without ever finishing a story you’ve spent months investing reading in only to have them give up or die or whatever. I get it. I do.

August is a crazy busy month for me though, especially weekends, so I will do my best to keep updates coming as regularly as I can manage them and my sanity.

Weatherwise, in my neck of the woods, we are having typical July weather, 90s. We are having a little atypical humidity too but it’s manageable. At least, so far, knock on wood, my AC still works. You may or may not recall the horror of the dead AC last year during a beastly heatwave. It cost $500 to fix and the AC dude said that our AC was old and would only last another couple of years.

I have already bought a Christmas decoration. Yes, I know. But it was a Christmas in July sale and he was this really cool snowman. I’m not usually fond of those AT ALL but this one was cool and is battery operated and lights up, etc. I am looking forward to showing him off come Christmas. Which reminds me! I also have the Christmas story I am working on as well as the Old Married Spirk. Oiye. Only one Christmas story this year though. It’s shaping up to be a story with only Jim and Spock as the characters, so that’s kind of nice.



The Love of a Lifetime, Continuing Story

Sometimes I ask for death. Not in front of Spock. That would be too much. Too cruel. But to myself. I didn’t think I would have to face this.

And now I am.

Would it have been better to be lost during a mission saving others as the other Kirk was? I sometimes think…


Judging by the edge of panic I detected in Spock’s voice he was concerned again. I must have spaced out.


I missed it.

I smiled, didn’t know if it was forced. No longer cared really. I squeezed his hand. “Right here, Spock.”

The Love of a Lifetime, continuing story

I’m losing my mind.

It’s strange knowing. Sometimes I know. I think. Other times I think whatever I am thinking is normal, even when on some level I maybe know it is not. Spock says I get worse as the sun goes down. Sun Downers. And worse when I am alone. This means Spock is either trapped to constantly stay with me or he has to get me a “baby sitter”.

I try to convince him to put me in some sort of facility where he will no longer be so burdened with me. But if one thing has remained the same, it is that Spock remains very stubborn.

We will not be separated.

So he says. And so we will not be. Until I unburden him with my death. Whenever that is.

Ramblings of the Week, July 07, 2018

This weekend we are having a heatwave on Vulcan. Wish us luck that we survive it. Hopefully I will still be alive by the time you read this after it posts, LOL.

I finished How to Seduce Your First Officer. As I said I would. Didn’t want another WIP. There was a scene for it I had intended to write but it just wasn’t working for that story so I hope to add it to When I Loved You, when the time is right. So stay tuned for that.

For updates, I have Young and Beautiful and All I Ever Wanted coming up. I think given the heat though I want to work on my Christmas story (oh the irony) so I likely won’t start the updates of those stories until the work week starts. This means no updates for me for the weekend and possibly Monday. We will see. The Sight comes up after that. I’ve also started to think about the next chapter of Nine Lives.

So in August, besides our weekend in Solvang, we have now planned a weekend in San Diego with friends (frienemies) the weekend of August 18-20. We’re staying at the Handlery there and will be going to the zoo and wild life park. These places in San Diego are world famous and among the best zoos in the world. During the summer the zoo has zoo nights until Labor Day, which is apparently why we are going at this time when it will likely be a million degrees. Love the zoos but ugh the heat.

This week coming up we will finally see The Incredibles 2. Then next week will be the dinos. After that Mission Impossible and Skyscraper. Not sure if there’s anything after that we want to see. Hotel Transylvania 3 probably. But Mama Mia 2? Um, no thanks.



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