Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Rambles



100 Words – Continuation

Jim staggered into his quarters, unshed and unwelcome tears stinging his eyes.

What had he expected? An undying declaration of love from his coldly reserved Vulcan first officer. Spock had been with Uhura for years and they’d never made a complete commitment. Or at least Spock had not. Jim figured Uhura wanted to and that’s why it had ended.

Maybe Spock just didn’t want anyone. Perhaps he had no romantic interest in any human. Jim could certainly tell himself that to make him feel better.

And yet he felt not better at all.

His door chimed. Jim turned to it.


Extra Plans

Originally, we were just staying overnight only Saturday at our favorite place in Morro Bay, but yesterday I was sitting here at work going, damn, we should have taken Friday off work and taken both Friday and Saturday nights in Morro Bay. I looked up the place just out of curiosity and was surprised Friday was available. Even the exact room we are staying in. The rooms have names. The one I booked is called Morro Rock Suite. They aren’t really all suites they just called them all suites, lol. Anyway they only have I think 8 rooms total. The Morro Rock Suite has a view of the Morro Rock and Bay and also has a fireplace, which since right now it’s cold here, I am greatly looking forward to.

Anyway, just because it was available didn’t mean anything. Neither of us had Friday off and I didn’t relish the idea of going up there after work in traffic. I laughingly texted him that it’s too bad we didn’t take Friday off and then we could stay both nights. To my surprise, he said, well, is the room available? I said it was. Then I looked up a room in another place we like there and it would be about $60 less to stay there Friday night but it would also mean we’d have to switch rooms in the middle of the weekend. I asked, are we sure you want to do this and he said, I already asked for the day off. HA. So, I went ahead and did too. My day was approved first but eventually so was his. I ended up booking the Morro Rock Suite for both nights even though the other place would have been cheaper, but no fireplace and the switching locations. Plus we really do prefer this other place.

So now I am going up there Friday for two nights! I am very excited. This may be our only trip up there this year. It means less time for updating this week but oh well! HA

Regular readers on AO3 will notice I posted the first chapter of When I Loved You. I changed it a bit from some of what you read here and also added some stuff from one of my 100 word fics. And wa la! I might get the second chapter up before Friday but we shall see.

Yes, I know I should be working on some of my older works in progress, but alas my muse wants new shiny things. I will get to the older stuff, I promise.

I will have 100 words up on Friday, as part of my series. I already wrote it and set it up to post Friday morning.

Ramblings of the Week, February 19, 2018


Finished Sleeping Beauty this past week, got up a little short, The Dance, and updated Unbonded and What Happened to Spock. Not bad.

Had some car trouble last week that cost us $893 but after whining some to the sister, she gave us a check to cover it. Woo.

Joined Weight Watchers and lost 4 pounds my first week. Yay.

Not sure what I will work on this week. I did post the start of an Academy Fic (I love those), The Experiment, but we shall see. Technically on the spreadsheet I should be working on My Devotion.

Going to see Black Panther Tuesday. Already got the tickets. This  coming weekend, on the 24th, we are headed to Morro Bay over night. I’m looking forward to it.

Have a good week.

100 Words (Continued from 02/09/2018)

Jim stood up, wincing slightly when he knocked into the board as he rose. A pawn keeled over and hit a knight on its way down.

“I’m feeling unwell, so I’m going to return to my quarters.”


“No, it’s all right, Spock. I just ate something that didn’t agree with me. I’ll just go back to my quarters.”

The truth was he couldn’t wait to get away. He felt sick, all right, but not from anything he’d eaten. But from the plain fact that Spock didn’t feel at all the same. It was a crushing blow.

The Dance

Here’s a Spirk Valentine for you a day early.


“Did you put your heart in the box?”

Jim paused the glass of rum punch at his lips and eyed his best friend. “Yeah, I put it in there. But I still can’t believe you talked me into this lame ass thing.”

It was a Valentine’s Day dance at the Academy and everyone had been given paper hearts at the door which they were supposed to put in a box with their name on It. Then two hearts would be chosen to dance together during the first dance.

“Couldn’t help it. Was tired of watching you mope around.”

“”I’m not moping.” Jim scowled.

It was way too crowded and he was feeling vaguely claustrophobic. He swore everyone on campus was there. Which meant he’d probably get stuck dancing with someone he was not at all compatible with.

Stupid Bones.

“Hey,” Bones said. “Do you mind?”

“Oh. Sorry. Thought I said that in my head.”

“This is for your own good, Jim” Bones said. “God knows whatever you hoped would happen isn’t going to. What better time to find new love than at a Valentine’s Day function.”

Jim snorted. “Spare me. I am not looking to find love. I’m looking to get drunk and laid or laid and drunk. I don’t care about the order.”

“The heart will help you.”

“You and that heart. It’s a paper doily thing, Bones. It doesn’t hold the fate of the world, you know.”

“It doesn’t have to. It only needs to hold your fate.”

Jim swiped Bones’ drink and sniffed it. “What exactly is this spiked with?”

“Give me that,” Bones grumbled and snatched it back, taking a drink. “You need some more punch?”

“Nah, I need something less sweet with more bite to it.” Jim squeezed Bones’ shoulder as his gaze sought the bar. “I’ll be back shortly.”


“Okay.” Nyota rubbed her hands together. “Our hearts have been added to the box.”

Spock froze. “Nyota, I told you I did not wish to participate.”

“I know, but it’s just one dance, Spock. What harm can there be?”

“I was under the impression that I am here to dance with you.”

“Well, there are plenty of opportunities for that,” she replied. “Don’t worry, Spock. It will be fine.”

He almost said fine had variable definitions but he refrained from it. He did not want to stay long. He hoped that the first dance would be over soon, he would dance two dances with Nyota and then he would go home. After all he had papers to grade. And lessons to plan. In his quiet, lonely apartment.

“Spock, they are about to announce the pairings,” Nyota exclaimed excitedly.

“I hope that I am paired with you.”

“Yowza, yowza, yowza,” the announcer said inexplicably. “It’s time to announce the pairings for our Valentine’s Love Dance. The dance where you are sure to find your soulmate.” He paused. “Or maybe not. Maybe just someone to screw tonight.”

The crowd around him laughed though Spock could not imagine why.

As the annoying man rattled off names, Spock stopped listening. Until he heard Nyota’s name. And he was not paired with her. He held back a sigh.

“Commander Spock,” the announcer said.

Spock stiffened. Here it came. He would be paired with some human who would no doubt say exactly the wrong thing and he would be forced to pretend it was not offensive.

“Cadet James Kirk.”

Spock felt the blood drain from his face and his heart begin to hammer in his side. Suddenly, Cadet James Kirk stood in front of him. Without a word, Spock put his hands upon the cadet and took him out to the dance floor. A waltz was expected and for some reason Spock decided it was he who would lead.

Kirk’s gaze met his. “Hi.”


Kirk licked his lips. “I_I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

Spock nodded. “Nor I you.”



The music struck up. And still Spock stared into cerulean eyes.

“I guess we’d better dance,” Kirk said softly.

And so Spock did, moving Kirk in his arms to the strains of the classical waltz music. They spoke no words while the dance continued but as soon as it ended, Spock pulled Kirk from the dance floor and over to the side.

“We have been conspired against.”

Kirk nodded, smiling a little “Looks like.”

“Jim, I—”

“Did you want to get out of here?” Jim interrupted, his voice low. His tongue swept across his bottom lip again.

“My apartment is near,” Spock whispered.

“I know.”

Spock exhaled slowly. “I should apologize—”

“No, it was me—”

Kirk stopped. Laughed. “Let’s just get out of here.” He took Spock’s hands in his and Spock found himself blushing, though he tried not to. Somehow this human made him blush over all others. “I missed you.”

For a moment, Spock was overwhelmed, but he finally nodded. “I missed you too. More than I thought was possible.”


“Though it has only been two weeks it seems like an eternity.”

Kirk closed his eyes briefly and then seemed to gather himself before he gifted Spock with one of his dazzling smiles. “Let’s not do that again, okay?”

“I am in full agreement.”

And they walked out of the Valentine’s Day dance without a backward glance, though Spock suspected Nyota and McCoy would know, and they made their way back to Spock’s apartment and his bed.

And afterwards, Kirk sighed as he laid his head on Spock’s bare chest. “That stupid announcer was right.”


“During that dance, I found my soulmate and the guy I was going to screw tonight.”

Spock opened his mouth to retort but then Kirk laughed with such warmth and joy that it flowed through Spock like the greatest of gifts. Instead of replying, he drew his beloved’s lips close once more and learned how to kiss him all over again.

Ramblings of the Week, February 12, 2018


This week you get a picture of the TOS guys.

I just got up another chapter of Sleeping Beauty. And with only two more to go I am on track to get it completed by Wednesday.

No idea what I will work on after. It depends on my whims right now. I didn’t do a darn thing with writing all weekend. Very lazy.

I anticipate a slow, quietish week this week. We don’t really do V Day so no plans for that. One of our cars is on the fritz so we will look to getting that fixed.

Morro Bay overnight isn’t until Feb 24, so I anticipate another quiet, lazy weekend this weekend coming up too.

I hope to get another chapter of what I’ve been posting here, called When I Loved You, and I’ll have another 100 words of my 100 words fic up on Friday.


When I Loved You, Chapter 2

Jim used to look forward to shore leave, but this one had been a struggle. At the last minute he had tried to back out of going himself, but Bones went on about his mental health and needing to recharge and all that so Jim had gone.

He’d spent three days and night with a beautiful red-head who’d reminded him of Gaila from his academy days. She hadn’t been Orion or anything but she’d had the same care-free attitude. She’d been fun and a good sexual partner, so in the end, Jim guessed he had enjoyed his shore leave.

He ran into Bones as they both prepared to return to the ship.

“There you are,” Bones greeted him. “How’d it go?”


“Just fine? I saw you with that girl. What was her name?”

“Rita,” Jim supplied. “She’s a commander from the Excelsior.”

Bones stepped up onto the transport pad next to Jim. “But just fine, huh?”

Jim nodded.

They reappeared on the Enterprise and Jim stepped off the transporter.

“Welcome aboard, Captain,” Scotty said from behind the controls.

“Status report?”

“Everything’s normal, sir. Mister Spock returned a few hours ago and is on the bridge.”

“Thank you, Mister Scott.”

Bones followed him out of the transporter room. “You know you’re due for—”


“Okay, fine, I’ll put it off. Next month though.”

With a weary nod, Jim got into the turbolift and made his way to the officers’ deck. When he reached his quarters, he noticed Uhura by the door of her own and she looked like she had been crying. Quite the contrast of a few days before on Valentine’s Day. He wondered if he should ask her if she was okay or if he should mind his own business. He watched as she attempted to punch in her access code twice without success.

Jim mentally sighed and walked down the corridor. “Are you okay, Lieutenant?”

For several heartbeats she didn’t look at him, but then she did, her eyes shiny. “I’ll be all right, Captain.”

“If there’s anything I can do…” He let the sentence trail off and then turned to return to his own door.



“I’m-I’m considering asking for a transfer.”

“What?” Jim frowned and walked back closer to her. “Why? Are you unhappy here?”

“No.” She shook her head. “At least I wasn’t.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest defensively and leaned against the wall. “I may as well tell you as I am sure it will be all over the ship in no time. Spock and I broke up on shore leave.”

Jim opened his mouth then shut it.

“For good this time,” she said softly, her voice cracking just a little. “We want different things. We each see a different future and they don’t go together.”

“I’m really sorry,” Jim told her. “But I’d hate to lose you. Can you give it some time? See how you feel after, I don’t know, a few weeks?”

“Maybe,” she replied. “I’ll think about it.”

“Okay. If you need some time off—”

“I don’t,” she said quickly. “Working helps keep my mind off things.”

He nodded. “Let me know if you do need anything.”

“Yes, sir.”

Jim returned to his quarters’ door and entered. He did feel bad for her. He knew how much she had always loved Spock. They’d been trying for years to make things work between them and it never quite did. He was kind of surprised they hadn’t broken up for good before. Bones had told him about their break up just before Altamid.  But in the end they had reconciled and things had seemed okay.

He’d feared…no. That was not right. Stop it, Jim. He’d thought that the little red box on Valentine’s Day was a symbol of greater commitment between them. Apparently not.

Jim removed his shore leave clothes and got into his shower, opting for a really hot water shower to help with his too stiff muscles.

When he got out he dressed in sweats and a soft gray t-shirt as he didn’t have to be on shift until the morning. He got some chicken tenderloins out of the replicator and then picked up his communicator.

“Kirk to Spock.”

“Spock here, Captain.”

“Listen, if you aren’t busy after your shift is through, you want a game of chess or something?” They’d play a few times. Not a lot. But a time or two. Jim wasn’t as good as he once was. He was a bit rusty. But he figured he was good enough to still give Spock a little bit of a run for his money.

Spock did not reply for so long that Jim was certain he was going to reject the invitation and it was on the tip of Jim’s tongue to rescind it before he got the chance.

“Very well,” Spock replied, finally, without a lot of enthusiasm.

“If you’d rather not—”

“I will be there in fifteen minutes,” Spock cut him off. “Spock out.”

He actually made it in fourteen minutes and after Spock secured himself tea, they sat down to play.

Jim wasn’t sure he should ask Spock about Uhura. Spock guarded his private life very carefully. And yet, it felt huge, and like something Jim should discuss with him.

Spock’s gaze rose from the chess set, and he quirked a brow. “You are staring.”

“Uhura said she might transfer,” Jim blurted out.

“Affirmative. She did mention the possibility to me as well.”

Jim licked his lips. “Um. How-how do you feel about that?”

“I hope, of course, that is not necessary,” Spock said.

“Are you, um, you know…” He trailed off again. These kinds of conversations were really not his forte. He grappled for a good term. “Emotionally compromised.”

At Spock’s closed off expression, Jim thought perhaps he had chosen badly. But Spock answered, nevertheless. “I am not.”

He wanted to ask for details, but details were not the kinds of things that Spock would be interested in sharing, Jim knew that much.

“I was somewhat surprised at her dalliance.”

Jim blinked as his heart beat fast in his chest. “Her-her what?”

Spock looked away, spots of color appearing on his cheeks. “I should not speak of this.”

“No. Wait. What? Spock, you can tell me. I won’t say anything.”

“While on shore leave, we had a verbal disagreement and separated for the night. In the morning I discovered Nyota in a compromising position with a female from the planet’s native species,” Spock said quietly. “They had spent the night together.”

Never in a million years had Jim expected to hear that she had-that they had…his mind couldn’t catch up.

“It was then that we mutually decided that our relationship would no longer work.” Spock shook his head. “Forgiveness was immediate. I knew that she had been upset about our discussion the night before. I did not blame her for seeking companionship given that discussion and its ramifications. But finding her with the native led to further discussion about our future and the implausibility of it given how far apart we had grown.”

“I-I see. I’m sorry, Spock.”

Spock inclined his head. “I appreciate the sentiment, Captain. But if you do not mind, I would rather not discuss it further at this point.”

“Of course.”

“I also ask for your discretion as I am certain Nyota would prefer the circumstances not come out to the crew.”

“I understand. And as I said, I won’t say a word.”

“Even to Doctor McCoy.”

Jim nodded. “I get it. And I won’t.”

Privately he wondered if there had been other indiscretions involved in their ongoing relationship but Jim knew he was already pushing his luck and anyway it was absolutely not his business.

He’d heard a rumor once, years ago, that they were not always exclusive, but Jim had ignored it as just silly ship’s gossip. Now, of course, he did wonder. Though such behavior seemed a bit out of character for Spock.

Besides, none of that mattered to his friendship to Spock.

“If you ever need to talk or anything,” Jim said instead, “I’m always here.”

“Appreciated, Captain.”

And that was that.

The conversation lagged then and ten minutes later, Spock declared, “Checkmate.”

Jim did not suggest a second game and Spock left to go to his own quarters. It was then he was beeped with an incoming message from his mother. He really didn’t want to talk to her because he always ended up having a headache afterward. But he sighed and hit accept.

“Hi Mom.”

100 Words (this one continued from 01/26/18

When all Spock did was stare at him wordlessly over the chess board, Jim knew bitter disappointment and heartache. So, it was true. All his feelings only belonged to him. Spock didn’t feel that way about him. And really, Jim should have known. Spock had broken up with Uhura months ago, right after their return to Yorktown after Altamid. It had seemed they would reconcile, and then they hadn’t.

Jim had hoped. But when nothing came from Spock, he decided to make his declaration. And all Spock did was stare at him open-mouthed, like a fish.

“Forget it.”

When I Loved You, Chapter 1

So I was going to wait until Friday to post the first (and only so far) chapter of this, but I decided, what the hell, I can post it when I want to, so I am. I’ll work on this when I feel like it and post it only here for now. Too many other WIPs on the Archive so at this point, this is for private viewing until I decide otherwise.


“So about Valentine’s Day.”

Jim paused his spoon as it was on its way to his mouth filled with what passed for clam chowder on the ship. He frowned. “What about it?” And then he placed the chowder laden spoon into his mouth.

He was on the briefest of breaks from the bridge. He had fifteen minutes to grab some lunch, said chowder, and chat with his bestie, Bones. Who was now the one bringing up the dreaded subject of that day of red hearts.

“Are we doing it?” Bones asked. For his own lunch, Bones had chosen some fruit parfait thing. The fruit was unnaturally colored, super neon green and orange and red.

Jim put his spoon down and leaned back in his chair. “Did you want to?”

“Well.” Bones shrugged. “It’s kind of expected, isn’t it?”

“Is it?” Jim sighed. Tapped his fingers on the table. “I’ve never, um, well, I haven’t been in that sort of relationship with anyone before, that they’d expect, you know, something. What exactly do you want?”

Bones stared at him, eyes wide for a second, but then he narrowed them when he caught Jim’s slight grin. “Not me and you, you dope. The ship.”

“Thank God,” Jim said, his smile widening. “For a minute there I thought there had been a change in our relationship I was unaware of.”

“Funny. You’re a real comedian.”

Jim shook his head and leaned back toward the table and scooped up more soup. “Valentine’s Day? Didn’t we just finish Christmas?”

“Almost two months ago.”

“Still. Is that a thing? Even now?”

Bones nodded and finished off the weird fruit in his parfait. “Especially now. You have to keep the morale up, Jim. We’ve been in deep space for—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. What do you have in mind?”

“Christine wants to have a Valentine’s Day Dance.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “I should have known this was her idea. Ugh. A dance? Really?”

“Yes, really. Crew members can ask each other to the dance. Their Valentine.”

“You’re seriously going to make me throw up,” Jim said, somewhat nastily, he admitted. To himself anyway. “Fine. But she’s planning it. I want no part of all that.”


“No way, Bones. Put it out there that I am not participating. I’ve sanctioned it and that’s enough. If I take part, there are two scenarios I can see, and neither of which I want anything to do with.”

“Yeah, and what are those?”

“One, a bunch of crew members will ask me because they think taking their captain will get them somewhere, or two, no one will ask me, because either they think someone else did, they are intimated or they don’t like me, and I’ll be some wallflower on the side of the room. No thanks.”

“Everyone likes you, Jim.”

“No one is universally liked, Bones,” Jim assured him. “Leave me out of the whole sorry mess.” He pushed back from the table. “And now I have to get back to the bridge.”

As he rose he spotted Spock having lunch with Uhura in the corner of the mess.  She was holding two of his fingers and smiling gently at him. Jim turned away.

“See you later, Bones.”


When Valentine’s Day arrived, Jim did his best to ignore the excited squeals of his bridge crew. He hadn’t failed to notice that Chekov came to his post that morning to a big red heart shaped box of candy and a red rose waiting for him. He’d also spotted his first officer opening a card and saw Uhura practically bouncing in her chair at her position.

He just found it annoying because it was just stupid nonsense, Jim told himself. A made up day to force romantic declarations on a specific day, to make people give things they otherwise might not give, and to make those without romantic attachments to feel left out.

About the middle of his shift, he spotted Uhura return from her lunch break to a small red velvet jewelry box on her chair. It was, of course, ring-sized. But he supposed anything could have been in it. Earrings. A necklace. A bar of soap. Okay, not that but whatever.

He turned his gaze firmly away and to the screen in front of him. Jim reminded himself he was comfortably numb. It was something he had to remind himself of from time to time. Not as often these days as it once had been. There’d been a time when he’d wished for the comfort of being numb. And it hadn’t come. But now. Yes. He had it now.

It took a moment for him to realize that Yeoman Rand was standing next to his chair, speaking.

Jim blinked and made himself focus on her. He smiled. “Yes, Yeoman?”

“Your coffee, sir.” She carried a tray and she handed him the cup. Then she handed him a plate of pink heart shaped cookies.

Jim frowned. “I didn’t order these.”

She smiled. “I know, Captain. They’re a Valentine’s gift.”

“From who?”

“The bridge crew,” Rand said. “These aren’t replicated, sir. They were obtained from a bakery on Space Station, Elema.”

“Oh.” Jim stared down at the cookies. “Okay. Thanks. Um. Thank you everybody.” He felt a little embarrassed and awkward which wasn’t at all normal for him, but he kept his gaze down as Rand moved away.

He tried a cookie and realized it was pretty tasty and then before he knew it he looked down at his plate and realized he’d eaten all of them. Six cookies. He could feel his face heating and he shoved the plate down the side of his chair to get rid of it as he took a quick sip of his coffee and tried not to wince at the way it scalded his tongue. He had a feeling Spock was looking in his direction, but he didn’t dare turn his head to see.

“Status report, Mister Sulu?”

“Maintaining orbit, Captain.”

Jim nodded and went back to pretending this was an ordinary day and not one he couldn’t wait for it to be over.

From his quarters later, he heard the commotion in the corridors as his crew prepared to go to the dance. It gave him something of a headache but as Bones said, it was good for the crew. He didn’t want anyone going stir crazy.

Funny thing was Bones had already brought up they idea of a ship-wide Easter Egg Hunt and Jim had given him the side-eye on that one. Bones mumbled something about he’d work on Jim about it. Generally that meant lots of alcohol.

Jim had been somewhat relieved and somewhat disappointed to find no boxes of candy, no flowers (he was allergic to a lot of them), no cards, no Valentine of any kind in his quarters after shift. He had said he wanted no part of it and so his crew had taken him at his word, he supposed. But he’d sort of secretly wondered if someone would leave him something anyway. No one had. Which firmed up his idea that yes, Valentine’s Day sucked.

He did some reports but eventually he grew bored and restless and made his way up to the Observation Deck. He stood there for a good ten minutes alone before he heard someone enter the room where he watched the stars.


“Hello Spock.”

Jim wondered briefly how Spock had known where to look but then knew logically Spock would have simply asked the computer for his location.

“You do not participate in the festivities,” Spock said, as he came to stand beside Jim.

“No, I’m not really someone who cares about Valentine’s Day. It seems designed to make those without someone to feel even worse about their situation. And if you love someone do you really need a day where you have to prove it to others? Seems like it’s all about showing off for others to see.” Jim snorted. “Guess I’m a little cynical. I’ve always disliked this day.”

“You do make some valid points.”

“When I was just a kid I spent the weeks after Christmas designing this big red heart for this girl I liked at school, you know? I made it really elaborate with paint and glitter, even sequins. God, I worked so hard on it.” He scoffed.

“What happened?” Spock asked softly.

“Can’t you guess? She laughed and tore it up. I had…some skin trouble then. Pretty bad acne. She laughed, tore it up, and said I was the last person she’d want as her Valentine.”

Spock did not reply for a long time and when he did it was in a near whisper, “I am sorry.”

“Yeah.” Jim laughed. “Just childhood baggage. It’s nothing, really. But I’ve hated this damn day ever since.” Jim glanced at Spock. “Thanks for the cookies. They were good.”

Spock hesitated and then said, “It was not my idea.”

“I figured,” Jim said with a smile. “Can’t imagine you coming up with the ‘let’s send the captain cookies’ notion. But anyway, it was nice. Unexpected. I still hate the day though.” Jim turned back to the stars. “Anyway, shouldn’t you be at the dance with Uhura?”

After a slight pause, Spock said, “Yes. I will take my leave then.”

“Goodnight, Spock.”

“Goodnight, Captain.”

He didn’t watch Spock leave and he spent another twenty minutes there before he finally returned to his quarters. There were more reports he should probably be doing, but instead he got undressed, put his pajama bottoms on and tank top, and went to bed.



Blog at

Up ↑