Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Rambles



Rambling of the Week, January 21, 2019

Pausing in my holiday off to write this. Afterwards, I think I’m going to do a bit of cleaning in my bedroom.

So far each day since I put my FIT-BIT on I have reached my goal of 10,000 steps. Pretty cool.

Tried to see the Super Blood Wolf Moon last night but it was too cloudy so we saw nothing, Ah well. I’ve seen pictures today.

Got an update for The Experiment and Didn’t We Almost Have it All up. Have not written the next part of the Flash yet but I still have a few days.

I’d like to get up the next chapter of The Ties That Bind this week too.

Also, for The Experiment, I’d like to ask for opinions. Are you all enjoying it for me to keep chapters going for a little while or is it time to end it? I admit I am enjoying this particular version but if others think it has run its course, I will find a way to wrap it up.

We are going to try to see The Mule again Tuesday. We couldn’t get in last week, so tomorrow we will try again, sigh. That’s about it for now. Thanks for listening.


A Weekend Ramble, 01/19/2019

Above pictures are from my walk this morning. First two are the park by my house I walk through and the other is the neighborhood. M and I got Fit-Bits after Christmas during the sales and so I went for a walk this morning. M didn’t go as he got food poisoning from our dinner out last night. Poor guy. And he’s supposed to go out with his friend for dinner tonight (don’t ask, I am not happy, so just…don’t ask).

Anyway, I hate exercise, honestly, but the doctor thinks it will help my BP, which is still high, so I am trying. Thus the FIT-BIT.

I am fasting today, which means only coffee, tea, water or broth. I do it every once in a while. If you don’t drink coffee or tea you can still do it with water and broth. It’s called Intermittent Fasting. Look it up, it’s a thing. Anyway, listened to a PODCAST where this really overweight guy fasted for 40 days (under doctor supervision) and he lost 40 pounds. So basically a pound a day for starving yourself for 40 days. Hardly seems worth it.

I am giving myself the day off from writing, but will likely get back to it tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a good weekend, if they matter to you, as they do me.

Double Update

Briefly, I did two updates today, My Devotion, and When I Loved You. And that doesn’t count Revealing, which I posted here. Yes, I really am that good. HA HA. Kidding.

That frees me up for more of The Experiment and…the next chapter of Didn’t We Almost Have it All and the next part of Revealing. So stay tuned for those coming your way

Revealing, Flash Fic 01/18/2019

Hello everyone. The good news is I have something posted today. The bad news is this is only part one and part two won’t be posted until next Friday.

Spock looked around for his captain, who seemed to have disappeared from his own birthday party. He had other matters to discuss with Jim that he had not wanted to discuss with the crew in attendance. But now it seemed as though he had somehow missed Jim and the captain had departed to whereabouts unknown.

This was not welcome, for Jim had been in the corner of the room earlier that night talking with a blonde woman, who seemed to like to touch the captain frequently.

He was aware Jim had a thing for blondes. Or seemed to. Prior to her departure from the Enterprise, an unexpected departure most agreed, Carol Marcus seemed to always be around their captain. Spock had suspected they’d had an intimate relationship, but Jim had never confirmed this. Spock had heard, though, from a comment from McCoy at the time that Jim was in trouble with Starfleet. He could only surmise it had to do with Lieutenant Marcus.

Spock had no desire to remain at the birthday party without the honoree, so he left, and went out of the building and to a platform that took him out to the viewing point of the Enterprise. This was a closer look than the one they had all gazed at together earlier during the party.

He recalled the conference he’d had with his father earlier that day.

“You are not coming to New Vulcan,” Sarek stated. There was no judgment in his tone, but Spock heard it, nonetheless.

“My circumstances have changed, and it requires I remain with the Enterprise.”

“The Human.”

Spock acknowledged this with a tilt of his head.

“I hope that he is worth it.”

Spock was only mildly surprised that his father had guessed.

He heard her footsteps before she called out to him, “Spock! There you are.”

He turned to face Nyota, who had either followed him or had anticipated his habits, he was unsure which.

“Hello, Nyota.”

She smiled at him, setting her hand on the sleeve of his shirt, as she leaned into him to give him a kiss. Spock turned at the last moment so that she only got his cheek.

Nyota narrowed her eyes, but didn’t immediately comment. She looked out over at the ship. “It’s beautiful.”


She glanced at him. “I want to talk about us. If we’re going to reconcile, truly, and I want to, I need something more, Spock. I’d been meaning to talk to you about all of this, well, before, but then when we choice to end things, and there was no point. But now, after everything we’ve been through, I want to take our relationship to the next level. We’ve talked about bonding in the past, but we’ve never gotten very far, but now that we’re waiting for the ship to be rebuilt, I want to go to New Vulcan and get bonded.”

Spock knew that this conversation was long overdue, but it didn’t make it any easier. Not for him. Not for her. But he had no choice.

“Nyota, I care for you immensely. You are dear to me and always will be. You have been a great friend and companion to me. I am, however, emotionally unable to offer you the level of commitment you require from me.”

For a long time, he felt her stare, but he did not look in her direction. He felt ashamed of his cowardliness, but he acknowledged its existence. This was the very reason Vulcans chose logic.

“Spock, look at me.”

He did, then, for it would be rude not to, and anyway, it was proper. Her expression was one of emotional despair, her mouth crumbled down, her eyebrows furrowed.


“You haven’t changed your mind, have you? You aren’t going to New Vulcan to settle after all, are you?”

“No, I am not.”

“All right, then…I’d like to understand, Spock.”

“I am…emotionally attached to another,” Spock said honestly.

“You mean you are in love with someone else?” Her voice was whisper soft.

He nodded. “Yes.”

“I see.”

“It gives me no pleasure to hurt you, Nyota, with this confession. I never intended to feel this way. I actively fought against it.” To no avail, he thought.

She turned away, looking out at the Enterprise, her bottom lip trembling. “This one you love, human?”


“On the ship?”

He hesitated and then said, “Yes.”

She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. Then she nodded. “You’ve been in love with him for a long time, haven’t you?”

Spock was only slightly startled that she had guessed who he loved, for he knew she had. In reality, he supposed, there was never any doubt, for there were only two humans he was truly close with and one of them was her.

“Perhaps longer than I was willing to admit,” he acknowledged.

She opened her eyes to look at him, and though her eyes were filled with pain, there were no tears. “Does Kirk feel the same way?”

“Unknown. I have not yet had the chance to speak with him. However, whatever his feelings, whether mine are returned or not, it would do you an injustice to renew our romantic relationship.”

Her mouth thinned slightly. “It was never your intention to get back together with me, was it? When we broke up before Krall, that was it for you.”

“Yes. I knew then I could no longer deny my love for the captain, whether I departed the Enterprise or not, it was not fair to you to continue to pretend otherwise.”

Nyota shook her head.

“I do love you, Nyota.”

“Not in the way I want. Not in the way I have grown accustomed to.”

Spock swallowed. “No.”

“I’ve been through this once already. You’d think it would be easier the second time.”


“I’m going to go now. I think it best, for the time being, that we don’t see each other, Spock.”

“If that is your wish, I will honor it.”

She said nothing more then, just reached over and squeezed his hand, and then hurried off in the direction she’d come.

Spock breathed in deeply. He did not want to go the way she’d gone, did not want to risk running into her or interrupting her grieving. He had no idea what her plans were or where she would go. In the immediate time and in the future.

He turned to go the other way and saw Jim standing in the shadows. Spock gasped.  He could not help but wonder, even as Jim fully revealed himself, how much Jim had overheard.

Ramblings for Today, January 17, 2019

25 Years ago this morning, was the so-called Northridge earthquake (it was actually centered in Reseda not Northridge, fun fact, I spent my elementary school years in Reseda, it was called elementary then).

The above picture is of one our freeways that broke off. The below one is an apartment building that collapsed on the first floor (it was one of those kinds that have the parking structure under it and 16 of the 57 that died was there).

Looking at these 25 year old pictures brings back terrifying memories. My own apartment at the time was far enough away from the epicenter that we did not sustain damage. We were lucky. But it was scary as hell.

Today is the last day it’s supposed to rain after raining all week. We aren’t supposed to see any more rain for the rest of January.

I was unable to update anything yesterday as I have been working on my flash fic. Fortunately I will have something up tomorrow morning on here for the flash, and I hope to get a chapter of The Experiment up today.

Also today, Betty White turns 97 and my friend at work’s daughter turns 3, so Happy Birthday to them.

Three day weekend this weekend and I am looking forward to it!

Ramblings of the Week, January 14, 2019

Oops! I meant to publish this Monday! HA. Oh well

Here we are at the beginning of another week. A full work week, though this coming weekend is a three day one for both of us. Teachers in LA start their strike, too. And it’s supposed to be rainy for the next several days.

I intend to get chapters up for The Experiment. I also intend to, cross your fingers, get the next chapter up for The Mysterious One. I need to get something written for Friday too.

I need to get moving more this year, so we went for a walk Sunday afternoon. It was all right. Because of the rain, that might be it for the week, we will see.

I am getting stuck seeing The Mule on Tuesday (Clint Eastwood). I have no desire whatsoever to see it, but M and his cousin want to see it so I agreed. I will advise how it was.

Where Do People Like Us Float, Chapter 6

No one will probably remember what happened in the last chapter so I am including it here:

 Jim was aware Spock watched him very closely as they walked through the city. He was used to those around him giving him funny looks, but he definitely didn’t want those to come from Spock.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and tried to pretend Spock didn’t find him as strange as everyone else did. “I really don’t want to stay here.

Spock stiffened beside him. “If you desire to return to your home—”

“That’s not my home,” Jim said, quickly. “And I didn’t mean that. I like being here with you, Spock.”

“Very well,” Spock said, cautiously.

“I’ve…never had a boyfriend.” Jim felt himself blush. “I mean…not that you are or anything.”

“You may think of me that way, if you wish.”

Jim’s face got hotter. “I like walking around with you. And lunch was nice, too. I’ve not really had a lot of friends either. I made friends on Tarsus, but…well.”

“Did they die?” Spock’s voice was soft and very gentle.

Jim nodded. “A few survived, but after we left, we lost touch.”

“I am sorry, Jim.”

Jim bit his lip. “It’s nice to have a friend.”

“For me also.”

He glanced at Spock. “Yeah?”

“I do not make friends easily,” Spock said. “I am welcomed neither by Humans or Vulcans. Not warmly anyway.”

“Well, don’t they suck.” Jim smiled. “But the thing is, when I’m finally old enough to blow this place, Eltron I mean, and never look back, I’ve met you.”

“It is Eltron you do not want to stay.”

“I don’t want to have to deal with Frank anymore. If she won’t leave him…I just don’t know what to do. It’s just so complicated now.”

“I have made a commitment to reside here for two years in order to teach the children here.”

Jim sighed. “I know. That’s part of the complication. I can’t stay here another two years, Spock.”

“And I cannot leave here before that.” He did not sound particularly happy about it, so that was something.

But it left things at a standstill between them. Jim liked Spock a lot. But to stick around for two more years…

That ended up putting a damper on things and both of them lapsed into a heavy silence. Eventually Jim suggested they go back and so they returned to Spock’s hover car and back to Jim’s house.

“Thank you, Spock. For lunch and everything. I didn’t mean for you to have to pay.”

“I did not mind.” Spock hesitated. “Jim.”


Spock shook his head. “It is nothing.”

Jim’s chest felt tight and his stomach kind of sour. He didn’t like it. He got out of the hover car and turned back to Spock. “I guess I will see you.”

“Yes, Jim.”

And he watched as Spock pulled away in the hover car.

He glanced toward the house. At least there was no screaming. That was something anyway.

When he got inside, he realized neither his mom nor Frank were home. And he was glad. The less he had to deal with them the better.

He was surprised his mom hadn’t left a note though. He went to his room and ended up falling asleep. When he woke again it was dark outside and in the house.

And his mom and Frank were still gone.

He made himself some food, added the additive and waited for them to come home. When it was pretty late and they still hadn’t come home, Jim went to bed.


Spock was surprised to see Jim so early in the morning. He was frankly a little surprised to see Jim at all, for things didn’t end very well between them the prior day.

He liked Jim a lot. Was very attracted to Jim. But if Jim was leaving—


The human looked a little spooked. His blue eyes were wide and his hair disheveled. And his bottom lip was very red, as though he had been biting it over and over.

“Jim? What has happened? Are you all right?”

Jim clutched at him. “Something has happened. They’re gone.”

They ARE Soulmates

I know everyone has seen the two above videos but I wanted to post them here again because I’m feeling very Spirky right how.

I love them both for different reasons. I saw the first one first, and it took me a while to find out the whole soulmate audio came from Dawson’s Creek. I love it because it’s AOS and though JJ wanted to shove Spock and Uhura down our throats, Spock and Kirk are soulmates here too. They just are.

I love the second one even more. They use the same Dawson’s Creek Audio, though it’s faster, and then the song is perfect too. And it’s got both AOS and TOS and my favorite parts are the TOS ones here because of the use of the older versions. I love them in that time period and all the scenes from those just bring out the feels so much.

It makes me sad that the AOS guys will never get to play these characters older like this. I treasure the 3 AOS movies and always will, but they will never get to be them at that age and it sucks. I mean obviously they won’t have to deal with the whole Anton/Chekov part now and the guys can be together in our imaginations, but well,I am sorry to lose them as OMS. At least on screen.

And for me, they always will be my One True Pair. Spirk.

Lost, Flash Fic January 11, 2019

“We don’t have time for this,” Frank growled.

Winona ignored him as her gaze surveyed the space station for her son. Where he’d gone to, she didn’t know. She had just gone to the bathroom and had left Frank there to keep an eye on him. Obviously she couldn’t trust him to do anything right.

“The shuttle leaves in less than ten minutes,” the man next to her whined.

She had grown to hate him. What she had ever seen in him, she no longer knew. It was thanks in large part to him that she’d nearly lost two sons. Sam was gone. She didn’t know where to find him. Had just walked off one day, Frank told her. Jim confirmed it.  

And then Frank had sent Jim away.

To that hell hole.

Yes, she hated him.

But she hated herself more. This was really her fault, wasn’t it? If George had lived he would be so disgusted with her. But of course—

“Wi, the shuttle.”

God, she had grown to hate that nickname. She turned on him. “Well, why did you let him out of your sight?”

“The little shit tricked me,” Frank protested. “Said he wanted something from the vending machine.” Frank looked sullen. “And you said to feed him whenever he was hungry because-because-”

“I know why.”

Overhead they announced final boarding for the shuttle.

“If we don’t go now we’re going to miss it! There’s not another shuttle back to Earth until tomorrow morning.”

“You get on the shuttle,” Winona said. “I’m not leaving here without my boy.”

“He could be anywhere. He might even be on another shuttle somewhere else. Look—”

“Go, Frank,” she said, giving him a shove. “Get out of here. And when you get to Riverside, you can get your stuff out of my house.”


“I’m done, Frank. I should have been done before you destroyed my family. Get on that shuttle and out of our lives for good!”

“Bitch,” he muttered as he turned and headed for the ramp that would take him onto the shuttle and back to Earth and away from her and her son for .good. She only hoped it really would be that easy.


She turned toward the guard she had reported Jim missing to earlier. “Did you find my son?”

He nodded. “I think so. Come this way.”

They rounded a corner and then she saw her boy. So skinny, like a skeleton, really, and she wanted to weep at the sight, but she had to be strong for him. For her son. He was only thirteen and so fragile right now.

Jim was not alone though. He sat on the floor of a waiting area, sitting in the corner next to a boy who looked a few years older than him and Vulcan, from the looks of it. They looked to be having a very intense conversation. Jim kept nodding at whatever the Vulcan boy said, but she was relieved to see that Jim didn’t look afraid.

“Is that him?” the guard asked.

“Yes. Yes, thank you.”

She hurried over. “Jimmy!” Jim flinched as he looked up at her, blue eyes wide behind his glasses. He shrank back against the Vulcan boy. Her heart clenched in her chest. She forced herself to relax and to smile. “There you are, honey.”

“Hi Mom.” He glanced at the boy with him, who stared at her with dark, intense eyes. “Mom, this is Spock. Spock, my mom.”

“Hello, Spock. It’s nice to meet you.”

Spock held up his hand in a Vulcan gesture she could not recall the name of but before he could do more than raise it, a human woman dashed up to them, and she was holding two drinks. She smiled at Winona.

“Hello there. I’m Amanda Grayson. Spock’s mother. You must be Jim’s mother.”

Winona nodded. She was surprised the Vulcan had a human mother. She had never met any Vulcan who seemed to be particularly tolerant of humans, yet she could see that Spock sat very close to Jim, and her son did not seem to mind.

“Jim got lost, I guess, looking for food and something to drink, so I thought I’d just leave him here with my son while I got them a drink. And some candy.” She held up candy bar. “Is Jim allowed to have this?”

“Oh,” Winona said faintly. “Yes. Yes, he can.”

“Wonderful.” Amanda handed the drink and candy to Jim and then handed a drink to the Vulcan boy. “I was intending to have them page you after I brought their drinks.” She lowered her voice. “It’s just…he seemed so hungry, you know and I thought–“

“Yes. Thank you. Come, Jim.”

He bit his lip. “Do I have to go?”


Spock said something very softly to Jim that she couldn’t hear. But whatever it was, Jim nodded, and stood up, going over to Winona. Spock also stood.

“Where’s Frank?” Jim asked then, looking around.

Winona patted Jim’s arm, and then turned to the woman and her son. “Thank you so much for looking after him. What do I owe you for the drink and candy?”

“Oh, nothing. It was a small thing we could do. I’m glad you found your mama, Jim. Please stay safe. Come, Spock.”

Winona drew Jim away as the woman and her son departed. “Honey, Frank is gone.”

Jim frowned. “He left on the shuttle without you?”

“I told him to go,” she said fiercely. She hugged his small bones, tears springing to her eyes. “He’s never ever coming back.”


“No,” she whispered. “It’s just the two of us from now on, Jimmy. I promise. Nobody else. You’re going to be my priority.” She drew back and put her hand on his cheek. “We can’t go out of the space station until tomorrow. So we’ll get a room tonight. But in the meantime, are you hungry?”

Jim nodded, swallowing.

And of course he was hungry. It was a stupid question.

“We’re going to have a big dinner.” She held his hand, gently for his bones were fragile, and she turned to call out, as a thought occurred to her, “Amanda!”

Amanda Grayson and her son, Spock, stopped, and turned back toward them.

Winona smiled. “We have some time here. And Jimmy and I are going to have dinner at that restaurant down at the end near gate D. Would you like to join us?”

Spock turned that intense gaze on his mother, who smiled. “Yes, I think Spock and I would very much like to join you.”

Jim brightened instantly and he gave Winona a very tentative smile, but it was there, as he hurried to walk beside the Vulcan boy, who said nothing, but inclined his head in a way that seemed to please Jim, and they made their way to the restaurant.

“I’m Winona…Kirk.” She’d about to introduce herself with her married name with Frank, but then changed at the last minute. “And of course, you’ve met Jim.”

“Yes. And Spock is my son with my husband, Ambassador Sarek. We’re on our way back to Vulcan, but we don’t depart for a few hours ourselves.”

And she continued to chat as they walked along and Winona watched as Jim’s step was just a little lighter.     

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