Seems I managed to finish this after all.
“Got all your supplies, Bones?” Jim asked, coming up behind his friend as he conducted inventory.
“Looks like they’re here.” Bones straightened from his squat. “You going back to the ship?”
Jim turned his head to view the beaches in the distance. He’d allowed some of the crew to have a few hours shore leave on Tambian 3. They couldn’t afford the time for a lengthy leave but twelve hours was better than nothing.
“I think I’m going to hit the beach for a bit.”
Bones studied him. “Want company?”
Jim hesitated. He didn’t want to hurt Bones’ feeling but he wanted to be alone to think. “Next time,” he told his friend. “I think I need some solitude.”
Bones nodded. “All right then.”
He was grateful Bones didn’t say he could get solitude on the Enterprise. Besides Jim wasn’t even sure that was true.
“And what do I do if Spock asks where you are? Tell him I don’t know?”
Jim shook his head. “No, you can tell Spock. No one else though.”
His friend smirked. “You want to be alone unless it involves Spock.”
“Save it, Jim. You’ve been hung up on that Vulcan since he stood up, tugged down his uniform and walked up to the podium to accuse you of cheating.”
Jim laughed. “Well…maybe not that long.”
“Yes that long.”
Jim smiled. “See you soon?”
“Yeah, go on. Get out of here. Captain.”
It took about half an hour to make it down to the beach from his location. There wasn’t anyone around this particular section of the beach for which Jim was happy. The planet’s sun was already going down and there was a slight chill to the air but Jim didn’t mind.
He took off his boots and socks, he hated socks, but the boots were uncomfortable without them, and rolled up his pants to the knee so he could go wade in the cold ocean water.
He stood there, staring down at the water rushing his feet and the sand between his toes for he didn’t even know how long.
After a while, he turned his head and couldn’t miss the Vulcan coming down the beach toward him. Jim smiled. He should have known Spock would show up. Bones knew it too.
Jim was torn between making Spock come to him and not making Spock traipse through the water. He was pretty sure Spock wouldn’t want to get his boots wet and there was almost no chance he’d take them off to wade.
Finally Jim walked over to where Spock stood, safely away from the water.
“You are unwell?”
“Nah. I’m fine. Just thinking.”
Spock’s gaze went over his head for a moment out to the sea, then it returned to Jim’s face. “If I made you uncomfortable with our earlier activities, I apologize.”
“What…the daddy stuff?”
Spock’s cheeks were dusted slightly green.
“Spock, I don’t care if we fuck while dressed up as a ballerina. It’s all good as far as I’m concerned.”
Spock’s brows furrowed. “Would that be you dressed as a ballerina or me?”
Jim smiled. “Whichever. The point is, sex with you, whatever form it takes, is at the top of my list of really fantastic things.”
“You have a list?”
Spock was silent for a moment and Jim could practically see the wheels turning in his head. “You are pensive. Is there something else I have done to cause you dismay?”
Spock exhaled slowly. “There is something, Jim. I feel your distance when we touch.”
Jim blinked at him in surprise. “With what we just did, you think I’m distant?”
“Not there,” Spock said softly. His hand went to cover Jim’s heart. “Here.”
“Spock,” Jim whispered. “You know I love you, right?”
Spock actually trembled. “I suspected the possibility existed but it is nice to hear confirmation.”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Here’s what I would want in a perfect partner. I’d want a telepath because it’s completely amazing to be so attuned to someone. I’d want him to be fully human, because then he’d completely understand me and my emotions. I’d want him to be completely gorgeous with soulful dark eyes. I’d want him to love me with all that he is. And I’d want him to agree with me 100% of the time. There’d never be disagreements or misunderstandings or confusion. Because he knew I was always right.”
Spock did not respond immediately and Jim could see that he was processing the things Jim had said.
“Of the five things you have mentioned, as I understand them, only three of those apply to me.”
Jim covered the hand that still rested on Jim’s chest with his own. “That’s right. You’re a telepath and you’re completely gorgeous with soulful dark eyes.”
“And I love you with all that I am,” Spock whispered.
Jim had to kiss him after that, leaning in to kiss those totally kissable lips.
“But then I am not the perfect partner for you.”
“Actually, yes, you are.”
“But I am not human nor do I agree with you all the time and in fact there are many times your emotions confuse me.”
“But see, Spock, I don’t really want perfect. I actually love the fact that I confuse you and you can’t figure me out sometimes and it frustrates you. Sure there are times when I wish you gave into your human side more often, but I think your Vulcan side is pretty fucking fantastic and I adore the fuck out of it and you. I can’t imagine anything more boring than someone who always agrees with me and thinks I’m right all the time. Hell, on the surface it sounds great, but the actual execution of it would be beyond freaky. You challenge me in ways no one else does or ever could.”
Spock’s other hand now came up to wrap around Jim’s waist and pull him very close.
“You aren’t perfect, Spock, except you are perfect for me. See?”
“This is because of what I said to you during my compromise under the effects of the pollen, is it not?’
Jim nodded. “It’s what got me thinking about it.”
“Ashayam, I do not wish you to be anything other than what you are.”
“I know,” Jim assured him with a smile. “It’s just…I’ve spent a lifetime trying to be what others want me to be.”
“I am fairly certain you cannot alter yourself to become pregnant or Vulcan.”
“Any more than you can become more human,” Jim agreed. “I love you. And I’m sorry I haven’t said it before. I’ve felt it for a long time.”
Spock’s hand moved from Jim’s chest up to cup Jim’s jaw. “You are my heart. My soul. I would do anything for you. All things. I would die for you. I would kill for you. All for you. And I regret that I ever gave you reason to doubt that you are utterly perfect in my eyes.”
Jim’s eyes got misty. “There go those illogical, confusing emotions on full display.”
“Indeed,” Spock murmured. “We still have some time before we have to leave orbit of Tambian 3.”
“We sure do.” Jim pulled away but then grabbed Spock’s hand. “Come on.”
“Jim? Where are we going?”
“To the water.”
“The water? It is cold and wet.”
“Why, yes, Spock. Yes it is.” He grinned. “You could take off your boots.”
“Then my feet would get colder and wetter.”
“Indeed.” Jim arched a brow like he had seen Spock do so many times. “Come on, Babe. Live a little.”
Spock replied with a long suffering sigh, but he bent down to remove his boots and then his socks. “Very well.”
Spock yanked him forward for a kiss. “Very well, Captain.”