“Are you sure about this, Jim?”

“Well.” Jim shrugged as he bent down to check his luggage. “Spock wants to.”

“That’s it? Spock wants you to.”

“Good of reason as any.” Jim tried a smile.


“Bones, it’s fine.”

“Your mental state—”

“Is fine.” Jim squeezed Bones’ arm. “I swear, Bones. It’s all good.”

Spock suddenly appeared at his side in the shuttle bay. “Is there a problem, Captain?”

He had to smile at the softly spoken ‘captain’. A genuine smile. He figured he would never break Spock of the habit of calling him by his title and for some reason it was more endearing than it should be.

“No problem. Bones was just saying goodbye.”

Spock turned to Bones. “Doctor, I trust you will have a restful time while we are on New Vulcan.”

“Yeah, restful,” Bones muttered. “You got all the hypos I’m sending with you?”




He eyed Spock. “And you have all the hypos I’m sending with you in case he loses the ones I’m sending with him?”

“Hey,” Jim protested. “I totally won’t.”

“Yes, doctor. I have everything. He will not come to harm.”

Bones seemed unconvinced judging by his grimace, but he pulled Jim into a quick embrace. Jim patted his back gently and then pulled away.

“I’ll let you know when I’m there.”

“You’d better.”

Jim turned to go up the ramp for the shuttle.

“Spock, you have a minute?” Bones asked.

Jim stopped. He frowned as he turned around.

Bones waved at him. “It’s nothing, Jim. Just need a moment with Spock.”

Jim didn’t like it but there wasn’t much he could do about it. So he sighed and turned to go into the shuttle.


Spock noticed the grim lines around Jim’s mouth as they made their way to his father’s house which would be their home for the next month. He had been talking animatedly the entire way from Earth to New Vulcan, but he’d grown quiet ever since they landed and went through a bit of New Vulcan on their way to Sarek’s.

“My father could not be here for our arrival but will come later to have dinner with us,” Spock explained. He used the code his father had given him to access the house.

Once inside the home, Spock said, “My father is aware of our change in status and had assumed we would share a room, however, if you would prefer separate accommodations, I am certain that can be arranged.

Jim smiled faintly. “Sharing with you is fine, Spock. In fact, it’s preferable.”

Spock nodded and led Jim toward the room his father had advised would be theirs for the duration of their stay. It was a simple room with a bed big enough for both of them, a closet to hang their clothes and a dresser for anything they might want to place in drawers. There was a single window, facing away from the sun.

“This is nice.”

“It was…”

Jim cocked his head. “What?”

“This was the room Ambassador Spock occupied while staying on New Vulcan,” Spock said quietly.

Jim came to where Spock stood in the middle of the room. He placed his hands on Spock’s biceps. “I’m sorry. We can request another place to stay, maybe?”

Spock shook his head. “My father would think that illogical. It is only a room and does not contain his presence.”

Jim moved one of his hands to Spock’s jaw. “I guess I really didn’t think how much this affected you. I’ve been in my own little world.”

Spock leaned into Jim’s touch. “My concern has been with you.”

“Me?” Jim gave him a quizzical look. “Why?”

“You are melancholy.”

“Despite what everyone thinks I’m really not some sort of laughing doofus.”

“I never imagined such a thing.”

Jim sighed. “I know. The point is, I would like to think I’ve matured a bit and I can be serious.”

“Not too serious, I hope.” Spock gazed into his eyes. “The loss of Mr. Chekov weighs heavily on you.”

“On everyone.” Jim shook his head. “What did Bones want?”

“To charge me with your care.”

“My care? Jesus. I actually can take care of myself you know. I don’t need a nursemaid.”

“No. However, is it so terrible to have those around you wish to ensure your safety and welfare?”

Jim’s mouth thinned. “When put like that you make me sound like an asshole.”

“Never that. Dr. McCoy’s concern for you is admirable and appreciated.”

Jim pushed closer into Spock’s personal space. Spock found he did not mind. “Did you want to ask your dad about moving rooms?”

“Negative. It is only for our stay and I am certain my father thought it was the best choice for us.” Spock slid his arms around Jim’s waist. “You are tense. What is bothering you?”

Jim shook his head and was already opening his mouth in denial.


“It’s just…they really do need so much help here. I’m—it’s selfish of me to want you to stay with me and I know it.”

“Perhaps,” Spock acknowledged quietly. “But I find that I want you to be selfish.”


“I will do what I can from the Enterprise. My place is by your side.” Spock turned Jim around so that his back was to Spock. He put his hands on Jim’s shoulders and began to massage the muscles there.

“Mm. That feels great.”

“I am glad you approve.”

“I do.” Jim sighed softly. And before Spock could stop him, Jim stepped away and gently pushed Spock to sit on the edge of the bed. “Let me show you.”


“Shh. It’ll feel good, I promise.” Jim knelt on the bed behind Spock and he began to attack Spock’s own tense muscles with rigor. “Feels good, huh?”

“Yes,” Spock agreed. “But it was my intention to massage you.”

“You can do that another time,” Jim said easily. “Right now I want you to feel good.”

It was on the very edge of Spock’s mind that there was something not quite right about all of this, but Jim’s hands on his neck, shoulders, and back felt so good, Spock closed his eyes and let the relaxed feeling push away any negative thoughts.

Spock did not know how long Jim continued to massage him but eventually he became aware he was laying on his back on the mattress and Jim was undoing his trousers.


“It’s all right. I’m just here to give you pleasure,” Jim assured him as Spock felt Jim’s callused fingers pull his cock and balls out from his pants.

Spock jolted in shock when Jim’s hot mouth encircled the tip of his penis. The sensation was unlike anything he had ever felt before. His sexual life with Nyota had been satisfactory but not altogether inspiring. As Jim deep-throated him, Spock could not stop a keening cry from escaping his lips. Then he yelped, there was no other logical word for it, when he felt Jim’s slicked finger push inside Spock’s hole as he continued to expertly suck Spock’s erection.

“Jim,” he gasped, clutching at Jim’s head desperately as his whole body seemed alight with tiny shocks of electricity. His fingers threaded into Jim’s beautiful hair as his hips seemed to rise up of their own free will, pushing himself further within Jim’s talented mouth.

The finger pushed further and Jim swallowed around Spock and he was lost. He knew he shouted, Vulcan words of ancient origin, as he came, filling his captain’s mouth. He had a moment of gratitude that his father was not home for Spock knew he could not have been quiet.

Jim released him with a sort of slippery sounding pop and his finger eased out of Spock’s entrance with an astounding gentleness. Spock could only look upon Jim with wonder.

Jim smiled. “I’d better clean up.”


“For what?”

Spock blinked, taking a moment to catch his breath. “I-I wish to reciprocate.”

“Oh.” Jim shook his head but he was grinning. “No worries. Your dad will be home soon, right?”

“Yes,” Spock replied reluctantly.

“I don’t want to be in the middle of anything.”

“I am certain there is time.”

“No way. I don’t want to come out of the room and greet him just after having sex. What an impression.” Jim smirked. “It’s fine.” He slipped into the bathroom off the bedroom.

Spock sat up and adjusted his own clothing. He would have to clean up as well.

But the alarm he felt over Jim’s behavior had increased tenfold. Clearly Spock was inadequate to fulfill Jim’s need