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“Jim?” Spock’s voice had an urgency to it that thrilled Jim.

“Yes, do it.”

Long, elegant fingers pushed inside him, slick with lubricant. He buried his face in the pillow on the bed, biting it when Spock bit him, sharp teeth sinking into that fleshy part just below the back of his neck.

Fingers withdrew and Spock rose above him, pushing inside with a long drawn out groan.

Jim gripped the sheets, digging his fingers into the mattress as Spock fucked him hard and deep. The pleasure was there. His hard, sensitive cock pressed helplessly against the bed, the friction almost maddening in its intensity. The slide of Spock’s cock against his prostate. He was so close even without hand stimulation. Jim closed his eyes.

Spock groaned and stiffened above him, emptying inside Jim, even as the tips of his finger pressed into the skin of Jim’s hips. Spock rode out his orgasm, pumping over and over into Jim.

And then Spock collapsed. His weight on Jim almost crushing the breath from him.

Jim sighed as Spock withdrew from him. With a shake of his head, he sat up in the bed, rubbing his hand over his forehead and hair.

Spock sat up also. “Jim, if you will lie back down I will—”

“I’m good.” Jim smiled and patted Spock’s bare thigh. “I gotta go to the bathroom though. Be back.”

“Jim—”

Jim was already standing. He frowned down at Spock. “What?”

Spock hesitated and then shook his head. “There is nothing.”

Jim smiled again and headed to his bathroom, picking up his discarded clothes as he went. Once inside he closed the door and engaged the lock as he willed his erection to go away.

You’re nothing. Just a vessel. You just lie there and take it like the bitch you are. That’s right, you’re here to pleasure me. You get nothing. Nothing. You’re my toy, my plaything.

Jim sucked in a breath and blocked out the voice.

For a while it was almost impossible. And then it got easier. Almost effortless.

Then when he spoke to his mom the other day—

Well…they released him.

He probably won’t bother you.

“Jim?”

Spock from directly outside the bathroom door.

“Are you unwell?”

“No. Coming out now.” Jim scrambled into his clothes, splashed water on his face, and came out of the bathroom with a smile.

Spock had pulled on the sleeping robe he’d worn the prior night when he had slept over in Jim’s apartment. Good. That meant he was staying. Jim didn’t want to be alone. He hated sleeping alone. Did it all the time. Still hated it.

“Time for sleep?”

Spock inclined his head but Jim saw the hesitation again, the doubt, and Jim tried very hard not to give into the panic. Was Spock already regretting them?

Jim walked past him to the bed and pulled back the covers. He looked over his shoulder at Spock, afraid of what he’d see there. But Spock just looked like Spock as he approached the bed and got in next to Jim.

It was Spock who ordered the lights off as Jim snuggled up to him.

****

“The Enterprise will be ready one month earlier than originally anticipated.”

Jim looked up from his PADD at Spock who had just emerged from the bedroom, showered and dressed in black slacks and a gray sweater. He held his own PADD in his hands.

“I was just reading that myself.” Jim reached for his coffee. “I made you tea.”

“Thank you, Jim.” Spock walked over to him and touched his fingers to Jim’s.

Jim smiled. “There’s cranberry orange scones, too.”

Spock picked one off the plate. “You purchased these, Captain?”

He laughed. “No. I made them.”

“I was unaware you baked.”

“I’m full of surprises, Mr. Spock.”

“Indeed.” Spock took his tea and scones and sat down beside Jim. “What are your plans for the day?”

“Since we leave for New Vulcan tomorrow, I need to meet with the admiralty. I’m afraid it’s going to last most of the day.”

Spock nodded. “Nyota has returned from visiting her family and has asked to meet me for lunch.”

“So things are okay still between you two?”

“It appears so.”

Jim’s PADD beeped there was a message. He looked down at it. His heart froze in his chest. For a moment all he could do was stare.

“Jim?”

“Um. I better get ready.” He stood up abruptly, knocking the chair over. “Sorry.” He picked up the chair and then his PADD, but it slipped from his nerveless fingers to the floor.

Spock picked it up, glancing at the screen. “What is this?”

“A rose. It’s nothing. Thanks.” Jim took the PADD, smiled at Spock, before leaning down to kiss him softly on the lips. “See you later?”

“Yes, Jim. I will be here when you return from your meetings.”

Jim headed for the door. “Lock up, will you?”

“I will.”

“Most secure code, okay?”

“As you wish.”

“Can’t be too careful. Been some robberies in this neighborhood.” This time Spock didn’t reply, so Jim slipped out the door and made his way to HQ.

****

“How are things between you and the captain?”

“I am uncertain,” Spock admitted, placing his menu down on the table.

“Uncertain? What’s wrong? You seemed happy when you first got together.”

“Jim is…not what I expected.”

Nyota picked up her coke and sipped it through the straw. “I don’t understand.”

“I do not either. He is holding himself back.”

“Well, that doesn’t totally surprise me. From what I know from Leonard, he hasn’t really done a relationship before. Maybe he doesn’t know how to act?”

“Perhaps,” Spock acknowledged, “I am left always believing I am doing something wrong. It is unsettling.”

“You could talk to him?”

Spock nodded. “I suspect I will have to.”

“You’re not regretting anything, are you?”

“My own feelings? Negative. My regret is that I seem unable to be what it is he wants or needs me to be.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Spock.” She put her hand on his. “He’s always been a little closed off. Just try opening him a little more. New Vulcan might be just the place to try.”

Spock agreed as the waiter came to take their order.

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