Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Ramblings

First blog post

I’m trying this again, a fan fiction site separate from the one I use on AO3. For now I’m not widely advertising it while I see what I do with it.

I’m posting a work in progress that takes place after Star Trek Beyond, called Where My Demons Hide.

I’ll probably post photos and stuff that inspire me. Right now I’m fixated on a picture of Zachary Quinto in the snow that I just have to use for Spock.


Featured post


So after three years, My Devotion, still going. I had thought to continue it now into the Beyond missions and a bit after, giving Jim and Spock their once and for all happily ever after here, but with that many years and 75,000 words, 57 chapters, 1950 kudos, I am wondering if I should just shut it down? I mean I could probably write about them forever, and I think there are at least a handful of you who would be right there with me for the long haul.

The hits seems to be still decent, but the comments are dwindling.

Still I hate to give up on them. I guess honestly I am thinking out loud. You can ignore me if you want.

Rambles of the Week, June 24, 2019

As you know I squeezed in The Sight update over the weekend by getting it done Saturday before I had to go off to the soiree. I didn’t do a damn thing Sunday. I ended up eating way too much on Saturday (too much junk, it gave me a tummy ache) and so Sunday I decided to fast.

Wednesday will have Chapter 3 of I Will Follow You Into the Dark. That’s what I will be working on next so I can be sure it’s ready to go.

Other updates before my week’s vacation from it all will be The Mysterious One, My Devotion, and Didn’t We Almost Have it All. While I am on vacation beginning June 30th, you can expect a Birthday flash for Jamie on July 01, a new chapter for I Will Follow You on Wednesday July 03, and a flash on Friday, July 5th. But that will be the entirety of my updates from June 30-July 07. Thank you for your support and patience.

I suspect my American friends will be busy with their own things on July 4th anyway. I won’t be that busy on July 6th and 7th but I will be tired and need recharging I am sure!

I guess on Tuesday of this week we will be seeing Toy Story 4.

Our cooler weather is, as expected, history. By Independence Day we are expecting 90 degrees. It sure was nice while it lasted.

I decided to include a picture of where I will be June 30-July 3 in case anyone is curious.

Last Photographic Walk of June 2019 Featuring the Jacaranda Tree

Southern California is swarming or dotted or infested with Jacaranda trees. These pretty purple trees do very well in our weather and environment but apparently toward the end of June/beginning of Summer they lose their flowers like crazy. As you will see.

Poor Jacaranda losing its blossoms
More of these first two trees which make up the entrance of another condo complex
One by the park
In the Park
In the Park
In the Park
In front of a home
In front of a home

Poor trees. They are lovely when in bloom but they make a bit of a mess as they are falling like now. I watched many blooms fall as I walked.

Flash Fic, June 21, 2019

This one is based on Eveningstar’s Prompt, Jim is drunk and confesses his love to Bones, and Spock overhears.

“This sucks.”

“I know, Jim.”

Jim leaned against the wall of the hotel.

“Let’s just get you to your room, all right?”

“Being in love with someone who hates you sucks, Bones.”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“He hates me. He was going to leave the Enterprise.”

“To make Vulcan babies. And he stayed.”

Jim shook his head and then regretted it as the hall spun. “Not because of me. Because of her. They’re probably going to get married.”

He started to slip from the wall to the floor, but Bones held him up. “They broke up.”

“They’ll get back together,” Jim said, miserably. “They always do. Like a billion times. And I’ll be left with the usual broken heart.”

“Jim.” Bones stiffened. “Stop talking.”

“That’s easier for you to be so cold-hearted. You aren’t in love with Spo—”

Jim. Be quiet.” Bones practically shook him.

Jim frowned at him and tried to push away from him only to suddenly be grabbed by—

“I’ll take control of him, doctor.”

Jim peered at him through hazy eyes. “Spock?”

“Yes, Captain. I’ve got you.”

“Listen, Spock, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Jim’s drunk and—”

“I am aware. Go back to the party, doctor. I will see that Jim is safely in his room and will sleep it off.”

“I don’t…fine. All right. But I’ll come by to check on you in the morning, Jim. With something for the hangover you are sure to have.”

Somehow the floor disappeared out from under him. He grabbed onto Spock’s shoulders to keep from falling and as they entered his hotel room, Jim realized that Spock had scooped him up bridal style.

“I can walk.”


“You want me to walk while bare?”

“Perhaps another time. For now you will rest.”

Spock approached Jim’s bed and Jim put his hand on Spock’s face just as Spock appeared to be preparing to lower him to the mattress.

“You know, you’re beautiful.”

Spock’s mouth twitched. “Oddly enough I had the same thought.”

Jim nodded. “You think you’re beautiful too?”

“I think you are.”

“Where I come from, buddy, that’s a proposal.”

“You are from Iowa.”

“Oh.” Jim found himself deposited on the bed.

“You will be sleeping off your excessive alcohol. In the morning, we will be having a very long talk.”

“Submitting your resignation?”

Spock arched a brow. “No. I will get you some water, you will drink it, and then you will go to sleep. I will watch over you to see that there is nothing you need.”

Jim stared at him. “Why?”

“You know why.”

Spock walked away and over to little kitchenette sink in the hotel room. He returned with a glass of water.


“I’m the captain,” he mumbled.

“Drink, Captain.”

Jim took a sip of the water. “Why?”

“I stayed for you.”

I Will Follow You into the Dark, Chapter 2 A Wee Bit Early

“That was fantastic!” His mother exclaimed as they walked out of the arena together. “I’m so proud of you.”

Jim smiled faintly. “Thanks.”

“I’m still pissed that they put you out there in the first place. What were they thinking?”

“That we were all they had, Mom. The majority of the fleet—”

“I read the report. And they lost a lot of promising young cadets too. It’s still run by a bunch of arrogant boys.”


She sighed and reached to straighten his collar. “But a captain. And the Enterprise. That’s something else, isn’t it?”

“It sure is. It’s crazy, is what it is.” He grinned back at her. “I just hope I’m ready for all this.”

 “I have no doubt that you are. Let’s go have a celebratory dinner. Right? You deserve it. My treat.”

Jim could not deny he was pretty hungry and it was nice to think someone wanted to spend time with him. All his friends had dispersed to do their own thing, whatever that was, they’d all been given some time off, so yeah, Jim got it, and then of course, Spock, well…yeah.

“That sounds great. Thank you.”

And just then walking down the corridor from where they stood, Jim spotted the older Spock from Delta Vega.

“Hey, Mom, you know there’s someone I need to talk to, can I catch up with you later for dinner?”

“Sure. I want to check on Amanda and Sarek anyway. Meet at Giuseppe’s later.”

“Great. Thanks, Mom.” He waved at her and ran after the old Vulcan. “Spock! Hey. Spock.”

Ambassador Spock turned to face him. “Jim! What an unexpected surprise.”

Jim nodded, breathless, waiting a moment to catch his breath. He hadn’t been breathing totally right since Nero’s ship. “Are you all right? You know. After everything?”

“I am as well as I can be, Jim.” Spock searched Jim’s face. “You are quite peaked. I would like to inquire after your health as well.” His gaze dropped to Jim’s throat. “The Romulans?”

“Right. And I’m okay. Just really tired, mostly.”

“And it’s no wonder. Have you gotten any rest at all since returning?”

“Some,” Jim lied. “It’s been kind of hectic.”

“I imagine.” He touched Jim’s hand with his own before Jim had a chance to avoid it, which he would have, because Jim was well aware of the touch telepathy, and we have known Spock’s intent. Spock’s eyes narrowed. “Not just the Romulans caused those injuries.”

“Let it go.”

“Jim, when I spoke of getting me to show my emotional compromise, it was not my intention to put you in harm’s way or to interfere in your relationship with Spock.”

“It was nothing, really. Okay? He just flipped out a little. I went overboard with goading him talking about all the losses on Vulcan.”

Spock’s lips thinned. “Jim—”

He shook his head. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

“Tomorrow, yes. I will be leaving to help with establishing a colony for those of us that remain. But today? There is someone I must have a word with.”

“Did you want to have dinner with my mother and me?”

“I wish I had the time, honestly. I do not. Jim, do me a favor and make it an early dinner. I would like to see you get the rest you are so clearly lacking.”

“I’ll try,” Jim said vaguely.

“Where is Spock?”

Jim shrugged. “I don’t know, really. Last I saw him he was at HQ. Kind of out of it.”

“Then you have not talked?”

“A few words.” Jim straightened. “I should be going myself. I won’t keep you from whatever you need to do. Just…can I ask you one question?”

“Of course.”

“Where you come from, were we…you and I…were we…?”

“Yes, Jim. Admittedly far later than you and Spock. We did not meet at the Academy, let alone establish a relationship then.”

Jim frowned. “When?”

Spock smiled slightly. “I think that I have given you all the information I should.” He held up his hand in the ta’al.

“Nope.” Jim shook his head. “That’s not going to cut it, old man.” He pulled the old Vulcan close, embracing him. Then he stepped back. “It wasn’t your fault, you know that, don’t you?”

“I was the one who advised you to compromise—”

“No. Not that.  What Nero did. The loss of his planet in your time.  You tried to help them.”

“And failed. Quite miserably.”

“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t cause the star to destruct. You were trying to help and it was too late. But that’s not on you. And none of what he did, not the Kelvin, not Vulcan, none of that is your fault, Spock. It’s all on Nero.”

“If you say so.” He held up his hand in the ta’al again. “Live long and prosper, Jim. Peace and long life, T’hy’la.”

“Hey. What’s that—?” But Ambassador Spock was walking quickly away. And out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Uhura. He hurried after her.


She stopped, turned, and looked at him. Her eyes were red rimmed and wet.

“What is it?”

“Gaila was on the Farragut, Kirk.  She didn’t make it.”

“God. I’m sorry.”

She hugged herself. “So many, you know? A bunch of my friends didn’t make it. If not for hearing that transmission, we wouldn’t have either.”

“But you did. You heard it.”

She nodded. “And you knew what it meant. I heard you got the Enterprise.”

“I did.”

“I’ll be on there too. Again.” She bit her lip. “What about Spock?”

Jim shook his head.

“Give him time. He’s really hurting.”

“I know. I am. It’s just…”


“Pike told me he’s leaving Starfleet. I guess to be with the other Vulcans.” Jim blew out a breath. “I don’t know. He hasn’t told me anything. I guess that’s the answer to my question.”


“Whether the two of us are still together.”

Uhura frowned. “But…I mean, he’d tell you if you weren’t, right?”

“I don’t know. I think I hear him loud and clear.” He looked past her to the exit. “I need to go. I’m meeting my mom. And I’m sorry about Gaila. I really liked her.”

“Me too. Tomorrow some of us are getting together for a little memorial for those that died. Our fellow cadets. It’s at two in the Quad at the Academy if you want to come.” She paused. Smiled just a little. “Captain.”

“Yeah. I’ll be there. Thanks.”

He rubbed the tightness in his chest and headed for the exit, ready to meet his mom.

Rambles June 20, 2019

I’ve had a rough couple of days depression-wise. Not going to lie. I’m worn down and worn out. And yes, I know plenty of people have it way worse than me. But if I seem vaguely off or whatever that’s why. I’m working through it. I think.

Let’s see. For this weekend, I am free of encumbrances on Sunday but I am going to a soiree Saturday evening. HA HA. That’s a fancy name for going for some wine with friends on Saturday night.

In other news, I still have Transfer Request to get to. I am debating where to take it. Or I should say how far. Does Jim sleep with the bad guy in order to eventually catch him or does he somehow escape through Bones’ idea of faking it. Anyway, I think after that is The Sight and The Mysterious One again, but those will be next week. Also don’t forget we are coming up on my vacation week (don’t panic yet)

In other news, I did get the next chapter done today of I Will Follow You into the Dark. I debated whether to just post it today but have set it up for Wednesday the 26th. But let me know if you’d like me to post it before.

Tomorrow is a flash. I looked it up but have forgotten what it is again! LOL. Ah well. I guess I will be surprised too.

I Will Follow You Into the Dark 06/19/2019 Chapter 1

Hello folks. For now this is going to be a Blog story, but you know if I finish it, which I hope to, at some point, it will likely be uploaded to AO3. In the meantime, look for new chapters for this fic on Wednesdays, until it’s conclusion. This is what I would have liked to happen in Star Trek 2009. Please note this was going to be a flash. And now? Nope

Chapter 1

Jim’s heart pounded as he ran to the docking bay where the ships waited. He ran ahead of Bones, straight to where the commander with the list stood. The guy glanced at Jim.

“Cadet Kirk. The Farragut.”

He frowned. “What? There must be some mistake. I should be on the Ent—”

“Nope. No mistake, Kirk. The Farragut. Next—”

Jaw tightening, Jim rushed over to where he saw Spock standing. “Commander—”


He looked around, aware of the crowd of officers and cadets running around them, and lowered his voice. “Spock. Why am I on the Farragut?”

Spock straightened. “I thought, given our personal relationship, it would be best to—”

“But.” Jim took a deep breath. “I want to be on the Enterprise with you. Vulcan’s in trouble. I want to be where you are. I could help. Please.”

“I do not wish to worry about you.”

“You won’t have to. Spock, this is what we all train for. I’m good.”

Spock looked down at his PADD and pressed a few buttons. “Very well, Cadet. You are on the Enterprise.”

He tried to get Spock to look at him, but he wouldn’t. “It’s going to be okay, Spock.”

“Just…be safe. That is how you can best help me right now.”

Jim nodded as Spock hurried off in another direction.

Bones walked up to Jim. “You on the Enterprise now?”

“Yeah. He’s freaked out.”

“Can you blame him, kid? That distress signal.” Bones grabbed his arm. “Come on, kid. Let’s move.”


It seemed like weeks, years maybe, but Jim knew, in reality, it was just days and only a few of those.  He was back on Earth, feeling every bruise, every strained muscle, every punch to a part of his body.  He still felt the Romulan’s fingers tightening around his throat, leaving new bruises over the ones left by Spock. But none of it was close to what Spock felt. Jim knew.

He first checked on Spock’s parents. They were as well in their temporary lodgings on Earth as they could be under the circumstances.  Both exhausted and grieving. In unimaginable pain. Amanda had cried when she’d seen all the damage done to Jim, had begged him to be treated, but he had deflected as he always did. Reminding her that what she’d just been through, her and Sarek, was far worse than a few bumps and bruises to him.

They’d almost lost Spock’s mom, Jim almost had, but he’d been able to grab hold of her at the last moment before she fell to her death. At least Spock had been spared that.

But his planet and all those Vulcans and other species on the planet—


Jim had approached Spock from behind, while he stood at a window at HQ, overlooking the San Francisco Bay. He’d been directed by others to find Spock there. Since returning to San Francisco, Jim had not seen Spock. He was surprised to see Spock still wore his Starfleet uniform, though it was splattered with all kinds of fluids and debris. It was beyond washing, Jim thought, but did not say so. The fact that Spock still wore it, had not cleaned up, was telling, as Spock was meticulous normally. Someone should be taking care of Spock, seeing to all that, but Jim wasn’t even sure if he was the one to be doing that now. He wanted to offer, but…it was still a little raw to get away from the naked murderous fury he’d seen in Spock’s eyes not that long ago as he clearly intended to kill Jim.

Spock stiffened visibly when Jim spoke. “I am not appropriate company at present, Jim.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat that didn’t seem to want to go away.  And it hurt to swallow. It did, but Jim wasn’t going to do anything about it. “Okay. I’ll…I’ll go away in a second. I just…your parents are all right. I have them settled in Starfleet housing for now. Your mom’s resting and your dad is meditating.”

When Spock did not respond, Jim went to turn away, but then stopped.

“Is there…what can I do?” Jim took a step closer, close enough to touch Spock, but not doing so. He’d learned earlier on the ship touching Spock when he was like this was not wise.

“You have already done it. I appreciate that you saw my parents settled. And the…elders.”

But not the one Jim had seen get crushed in the cave when they’d gone to rescue them. Spock’s mom had told Jim that he’d been a teacher of Spock’s that Spock had admired. So many gone, so many taken by Nero. His own loss, that of his father, seemed small compared to everything else. There were worse things than growing up without a father. Jim had learned that all too well.

“You-you’re welcome.” He turned away.



“You have received medical attention for your significant injuries?”

He hadn’t. Bones had bugged him, but Jim had put him off. And now Jim needed to shower, dress, and get to the ceremony where they planned to give him a medal for all this. For what, anyway? Not being able to save Vulcan. But Earth, yeah, they still stood on Earth.

“Yeah,” he lied. Because he didn’t feel like saying he hadn’t seen anyone and in the end, in Spock’s current state, he doubted Spock cared as much as he was supposed to, and for some reason, Jim felt like Spock had asked because it was what you were supposed to do for your significant other. If they still were. Which, well, Jim wasn’t even sure about that.

Pike had told him that Spock was offering his resignation. He intended to help establish a colony to rebuild the Vulcan race and anyway, what could Jim say about that? Spock hadn’t even asked him what he’d thought or even mentioned it. He’d heard it from Pike.

Spock didn’t say anything else so he left him standing looking out at the bay and left to get ready for the ceremony.

On the way to it, cleaned up and once more dressed in his cadet reds, he heard his name called.

“Jim! Jim!”

He stopped and turned, just barely catching his mother as she flew into his arms.

“Thank God!”

And she felt good, holding him this close, and he realized, that after everything, all that he’d been through just now, no one had offered him a hug, not one single person. He hugged her close, tears stinging his eyes.

“Hi Mom.” He choked on the word because he’d been about to become little again and call her Mommy, which for his age would have just been ridiculous. She didn’t seem to notice his little flub and instead held him tighter, he guessed, giving him time to get himself together.

She pulled back after about five minutes, and honestly he wished she hadn’t, but he understood they couldn’t be hugging all day, and she put her hand on his face. “You look terrible. What have they done to you?”

He shook his head. “I’m okay.”

“You saw a doctor?”

Technically, he’d seen Bones a few times after, not for treatment, but still it couldn’t exactly be considered a lie to say, “Yeah. I’m fine. Just bruised and battered. But alive.”

She smiled through tears. “Yes. No thanks to these idiots. What are they doing taking a bunch of cadets out there to fight a megalomaniac like Nero?”


“I know.” She sighed. “You saved the Earth. I read the report. It’s just…if he’d have cost me my son in addition to…never mind.” She kissed his cheek. “I’m glad you’re okay. I got here as soon as I heard. Spock’s not with you?”

“No. He’s-he’s having a difficult time.”

“Oh. Of course he is. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. How are Amanda and Sarek?”

“As well as they can be. I have them in lodging provided by the Federation.”

She nodded. “I’ll go check on them later, after the medal ceremony.”

“They shouldn’t…this is all too much, you know?”

“Sometimes after such horrible tragedy, we tend to want something to celebrate, honey. And I’m afraid you’re caught up in that.” She touched his cheek once more and stepped back. “And you are a hero, whether you want to be or want to admit it. We need heroes, Jim.”

“Okay,” he agreed, then linked his arm with hers, taking her with him to where the arena was, where the ceremony was being held.    

Ramblings of the Week June 17, 2019

As followers of my updates on AO3 know, Stranded 2: The Sequel is now live and up to two of three chapters. I *should* be posting chapter 3 Monday. I should also advise that eventually, in the not too distant future, I will be attempting Stranded 3: The Conclusion.

Up this week besides the final chapter of Stranded 2 is All I Ever Wanted and Nine Lives. And if there is time, Transfer Request. That will bring all updates into the month of June as those three were last updated at the end of May.

You can also expect a new flash on Friday, though admittedly I do not remember what I wrote for this coming week! For shame.

Supposed to be in the low 80s all week so not bad! I’ll take it.

We are seeing Men in Black: International on Tuesday. What cracks me up is that Hemsworth was quoted as saying ST 4’s story had issues but, um, he does things like MIB and Ghostbusters and the National Lampoon Vacation thing. So sorry, Hemmy, I am not buying it. Anyway, he looks cute, so I’m on board. Surely nothing could be as rotten as Godzilla.

I think that’s it for reporting for the beginning of this week.

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