Spirk (with a small dose of Pinto)

Fan Fiction and Personal Rambles

First blog post

I’m trying this again, a fan fiction site separate from the one I use on AO3. For now I’m not widely advertising it while I see what I do with it.

I’m posting a work in progress that takes place after Star Trek Beyond, called Where My Demons Hide.

I’ll probably post photos and stuff that inspire me. Right now I’m fixated on a picture of Zachary Quinto in the snow that I just have to use for Spock.


Featured post

Trashing the Tree, Flash Fic, 12/14/2018


Spock was coming up the street to his apartment building when he saw a human male struggling with removing a rather large pine tree from inside the building’s foyer out to the sidewalk.

It made no sense to Spock, as the Terran holiday of Christmas had not yet passed, so the human should be bringing the tree inside instead of outside.

Spock walked up the steps and realized he knew this human. Not well, but he knew him. Almost everyone knew James Kirk. He was extremely popular at Starfleet Academy and Spock had him in one of his classes the year before. It did not hurt that he was exceptionally goodlooking by any standards, even Vulcan ones.   Golden hair, blue eyes, pouty red lips. Yes, Spock found him…appealing.

“Do you require assistance, Cadet Kirk?”

Kirk looked at him startled, through the branches of the tree. Even then Spock could see his eyes were wet and rimmed red.

“Are you in distress?” Spock demanded.

“Oh. Um.” The tree rattled and shook and then all of a sudden it lay on the sidewalk at Spock’s feet. “Hi.”

“Good evening.”

Kirk licked his lips. “I, uh, sorry. I didn’t mean to block the entrance into the building, Professor.”

“That is currently not my concern.” Spock surveyed the tree. “Forgive me, Mr. Kirk, but is it not traditional to decorate the tree indoors?”

He nodded, then looked away. “Yeah. Well. Yeah. That’s usually how it works.”

“But?” Spock prodded.

“Oh, everything’s just all messed up, is all.” Kirk sagged against the wall of the building. “I’m throwing it away. The tree, I mean. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about it, sir. Let me just move this out of your way, so you can get in.”

“I would not have asked had I not wished to know. It seems a shame to waste the life of this tree all for naught.”

“Yeah.” Kirk wiped his hand over his face. “Maybe you’re right. It’s just…I don’t know why I keep believing, you know.”

Spock did not know. “I can assist you with bringing it back inside to your apartment if you wish.”

Kirk sighed. Looked down at the ground. “Okay. Yeah. Thanks.”

Spock hefted the pine tree up and then pointed to the door. “If you will open that—”

“Wait, you don’t have to carry that by yourself.”

“Just open the door.”

Kirk opened the door and Spock carried the tree into the foyer. Kirk rushed in after him.

“This tree is too big for the lift. I will take the stairs. What floor is your apartment?”

“Really I—”

“Cadet…Jim. This will be a lot easier if you simply cooperate and advise me where your apartment is.”

“Third floor.”

“Thank you.”

Spock went up the stairs on the right, conscious of Kirk following up after him, apologizing profusely the whole way. Spock ignored him until they reached the third floor and Kirk ran ahead of him, opening a door on the far right of the corridor. Spock carried the tree inside, noticed a tree stand still set up in the middle of the living room and headed there.

“I’m sorry for all this trouble.”

“You do not need to apologize repeatedly.” Spock stuck it in place. “This is a large and beautiful tree.”

“Yeah.” Kirk blushed red. “I, uh, sorry about that.”


“I mean, about the tree. Being dead. You being Vulcan it probably offends you. I didn’t think. As usual. About anything really.”

“Jim, I would like you to explain what happened to cause you to wish to dispose of this tree.”

Kirk deflated even more if that was possible. “My mom. She had told me she was coming here. To San Francisco and we’d spend Christmas together. It was going to be the first time in years. And I know, I’m way too old for this, but I got a little excited and I went out and got this tree and some decorations and I started planning what we’d eat and just, generally, getting carried away.” He bit his lip.

“She is not coming,” Spock guessed.

“Got it. She contacted me this morning to say, nope, so sorry, Jim. Something came up. Again.” He grimaced. “Something always comes up. Since I was a kid. She was always off planet. Never around. And every time she tells me she’s coming, I believe it all over again like a dummy.”

“I am sorry that she continues to disappoint you,” Spock said. “I do not know her, so I cannot say if she had good intentions or not, but knowing what I do know about you, I cannot imagine that she did not intend to fulfill her obligations when she first promised.”

“I shouldn’t have bought this tree, obviously. No one else is going to be around except me.”

“What about your friend, Leonard McCoy?”

“Georgia.” Jim smiled and shrugged. “And speaking of, I am sure I’m keeping you from Uhura or something.”

“You are not. Nyota has gone for the Winter break as well.”

“And she didn’t take you with her?”

Spock frowned. “Why would she?”

“I thought you two were…together. Together.”

“We are friends. There is no romantic connection if that is what you believe. I admire many qualities Nyota possesses, which is why we are friends.”

“Oh.” Kirk nodded and moistened his lips. Which for some reason Spock always noticed.  “So. Would you…like to stay for dinner?”

“Yes,” Spock said immediately. “And afterward, perhaps, I could help you decorate your tree with the decorations you bought.”

Those blue eyes met his and they were much brighter and lighter than they’d been only moments before.

“I would love that.”

December 12th

snowman and drum decor
Photo by Acharaporn Kamornboonyarush on

Today would have been my dad’s 96th birthday.

I am sure I have told this before, but when I was  a kid, I loved the Christmas song, Donde Esta Santa Claus by Augie Rios. I had the record, and in those days records were vinyl. I would come home from school and my dad would have that record on and I would get so excited. He’d put it on weeks early because I loved it so much.

Many years later, but a few years back now, I was sitting waiting in my car for the commuter bus I took at the time into work. It was December 12th. One of the local radio stations played Christmas music all day every day beginning then around Thanksgiving (they start even earlier these days). I’d listened to that station every day and never once heard Donde Esta Santa Claus on it. Until that day. My dad’s birthday.

I’ll never forget that as long as I live (or as long as I am granted my sanity). It gave me chills.

Today I own that song in digital form and I will be listening to it in honor of my dad.

Season’s Greetings

Changing Things Around, Etc


blur bokeh candle christmas decoration
Photo by on

As most of you who follow along here know, I had planned on posting for my flash fic on Friday, December 28, a little tale based on It’s a Wonderful Life.

However, as I realized increasingly that life commitments and trying to do other stuff was going to prevent me from being anywhere close to finishing the original story intended for the T’hy’la Bang, I realized, even as the “check-in email” arrived that I was going to have to either withdraw or submit something else I could write real fast or was already well into meeting the word requirements. The last T’hy’la Bang required 10,000 words, I believe, and this one only requires 2,000. Wonderful Life is over 3,000 so it suits.

The bad news is that story, originally planned, needs to be put aside for now. I will write it, but after the holidays and after some other stories get updated, etc.

My Devotion received its update today.

I have the first January flash fic planned to be Pinto-related. So that left me afloat as to what to post December 28th. I quickly wrote something up for that called “First Footing” and it’s ready to go. But it has also occurred to me that it could work for part of a fic someone requested from me, so we shall see. I might post it only here and not on AO3 until I decide its ultimate fate.

In the meantime, at home I am not really writing. I’ve been online shopping (favorite pastime), watching Christmas movies, and cuddling with M and Luna.  Yes, she has become unbearably spoiled.

This coming weekend I have a Christmas party on Sunday afternoon and everything. I think it will be fun. We shall see.



Ramblings, December 10, 2018

I have been to Disneyland, as you can see from the above pictures. Fine time was had by all. And it’s so cool getting in for free. It’s well over $100 to get in these days. We never would have gone except for the cousin working for Disney and getting us tickets so that was awesome.

Didn’t do any writing over the weekend. Busy busy. Today I am going to be working on adding stuff to my Wonderful Life fic. As you know my Christmas story had been published. I don’t remember if the Mirror Christmas story is Friday or if the Cadet Christmas story is Friday. HA. We shall see, I guess.

Then it’s back to the T’hy’la story. I think I am behind at this point though it doesn’t get posted until January, so hopefully I am okay.

Hope everyone has a good week.

Stuck With Me, Flash Fic, December 07, 2018


“We cannae beam you up at this moment, Commander.”

Spock closed his eyes briefly, then opened them and tried to focus. “The captain is severely injured, Mr. Scott. Without emergency treatment, he will likely not survive.”


The hoarse, pained whisper had him flinching, but he did not look in the captain’s direction.

“Mr. Spock, if I even attempted it, your particles would break up in space. We’re working on it as fast as we can,” Scott replied, sounding as though he might cry.

“Understood. Contact me as soon as you have news. Spock out.”

He closed his communicator and glanced toward Jim, who lay bleeding against the wall of the cave Spock had carried his injured body to earlier. Outside, snow fell on this particular nightmare of a planet. He’d bundled the captain up as best he could, but he could see Jim shaking and his teeth chattering.

“Spock, just take these blankets and wrap yourself up in them so when you’re rescued, you’ll be okay,” Jim said, his voice a weak whisper.

“You need them, Captain. You are freezing.”

“I’m gonna die, Spock.”

“No.” He spoke too sharply. He knew that. When they were back on the Enterprise and Jim was all right, then he could reprimand Spock. “You will not die.”

“You heard Scotty. He can’t get me on the ship.”

“They will get you on the ship and Dr. McCoy will give you the necessary treatment and you will be all right,” Spock insisted.

Spock knelt down next to Jim, who visibly shivered. His eyes were dim and pain-filled.

“Spock, please, just take the blankets and stuff and stay warm.”


“That’s an order.”

“Court-martial me when we return to the Enterprise.”

Jim closed his eyes.


He shook his head slightly. “I’m here. I haven’t left yet.”

“And you will not.” Spock reached for Jim’s hand, it was so cold, it was like he was holding a hand made from ice. Spock began to feel despondent. This could not be how it ended. No. “I will add my body heat to yours.”

Jim just looked at him now and didn’t even protest which worried him even more. He placed himself next to Jim on the cave floor, gathered him close and then wrapped the emergency blankets around the two of them.

“I think I should tell you something,” Spock said then.

Jim did not respond, he just sagged against Spock. Breathing, though barely. Spock was beginning to panic.

“I intended to discuss this with you at a more convenient time, but—”

“There may not be any more time,” Jim rasped out.

Spock would not say that. Could not. And he refused to even think that. “I have felt this way for many months. Perhaps longer. When we first began our romantic relationship, I should have told you then, but I held back for fear…it does not matter. I love you, Jim. And I want you as my bondmate.”

Jim looked at his through pain-filled eyes. “Bondmate?”

“Yes. In fact, I would bond with you right now.”


Spock knew he was taking a big risk, but he was desperate. He could not, would not lose Jim.

He put his hand on Jim’s cold face. So cold. Too cold. He spread his fingers out.

“My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts. Parted and never parted. Together and always.”

He was in Jim’s mind. Even as he entered, he felt the dimness, the weakening. Jim was fading. Everything that was Jim was dying. Going. Spock was nearly too late.

Jim. Come to me.


T’hy’la, come.

Again nothing. Jim’s consciousness faded more. Spock focused.

James. Reach for my hand.

In Spock’s mind he created an image of himself and an image of Jim. They both wore their uniforms, though Jim’s shirt was ripped and torn, covered in way too much blood. He held his hand out toward Jim.

Jim’s gaze flicked to Spock’s face and then down to his hand.

Yes, ashayam. Take it. Bond with me.

Jim took a step forward, then looked down at the blood on his shirt then back up at Spock. He extended his hand again toward Jim.

Choose me.

Jim stumbled forward, his hand reaching out and Spock took a step closer to him, seizing hold of his hand, closing his fingers into Jim’s, and tugging him close. In his mind, Spock put his hand on Jim’s face, as he was doing in the cave.

“We are one, always. This is the Vulcan heart, this is the Vulcan soul.”

Jim’s eyes widened slightly.

“Heal, my Jim.”

Jim sagged against him and collapsed in Spock’s arms.


“How did you get him into the healing trance?” McCoy asked Spock much later as Jim lay on the biobed in the medbay. Jim was still much paler than Spock would have liked, but the doctor assured Spock Jim would be all right.

Spock hesitated. “It is something that Vulcans and their mates can do.”

McCoy looked at Spock. Frowned. “Mates? What sort of mates?”


“What? When? Spock—”

“Hey, no yelling.”

Spock immediately turned to Jim, whose eyes were open staring openly at him and the doctor. “Jim!”

McCoy immediately began to scan their captain.

Jim looked past the doctor to Spock. He smiled. “Hey you.”

Spock could not speak, he just looked into Jim’s beautiful blue eyes, full of life.

McCoy frowned. “How do you feel?”

“Good. Thanks to you, Bones. And to Spock.”

“Yeah, listen, Spock said something about mates and I—

“Yeah.” Jim smiled. “Spock’s my husband now. You’d better be nice.” Then he laughed softly.

McCoy rolled his eyes. “I’ll be right back. Married, God help me.”

Spock scooted closer and grabbed Jim’s hand. His warm hand. So warm. “Ashayam.”

“Spock, I love you. And I’m pretty sure you knew that long before I told you, but are you sure about this?”


“Yeah? Because, aren’t you stuck with me now?” He smiled, but it was a little hesitant.


“You’re not?”

Spock squeezed his hand. “I am afraid you are stuck with me.”

Ramblings for December 06, 2018


beverage blur candy candy cane
Photo by Pixabay on

Tonight our power will be turned off and isn’t supposed to come back on until about 4AM. Sigh. I guess it will definitely be dark for sleeping.

Looks like Disneyland on Sunday is happening as we have scheduled the time for leaving and everything. I suppose I will still be skeptical until I walk through the gate! HA.

Tomorrow will be another Flash Fic Friday. So you have that to look forward to.

You all know I finished Where My Demons Hide. It’s a relief to have it over. That leaves me with only 11 current WIPs. I say “only” because I have had at one time or another more than 15.

My plan right now is not to post any more WIPs. If I have something finished, like the Christmas story, I will post it, but once those WIPs are completed, I won’t be posting any more. It’s very possible I won’t be writing any more fan fics at all once those are done. I think I’m getting close to saying all I have to say about Kirk and Spock. I am definitely repeating stories and ideas.

That may or may not be what you want to hear, but that’s where I am coming from.

The thing is I do have other ideas, like the one that goes with ‘Dancing on My Own’, but I am not sure at this point that I am ever going to write it.

Writing has always been my therapy. Anyway, that’s something you can hopefully look forward to in 2019, the conclusion of those 11 stories. My strategy might change on how I work on them. It might be that I will just pick a story and write on it until its done, and then so on with each story, we shall see.

December has begun its busy busy business. I have something planned for every weekend this month and many things during the week. Hopefully I will maintain my sanity as well as my physical health.

I’m tweaking one story for the Flash that I think needs more added and I am also working on the T’hy’la story. That’s it for this year, I think. Too busy and overwhelmed for much of anything else. I’d like to enjoy my holidays. I still have several movies to watch too.

You’ll notice I am using the free photos from WordPress for my blog lately, lol. Too lazy to upload new ones of my own, etc.


Weekly Rambling, December 03, 2018

adult beverage breakfast celebration
Photo by Pixabay on

I’m not very enthusiastic today. I fully admit. I have no explanation for my attitude but it is there.

That Glorious Song of Old is ready to post any time I feel like posting it.  I feel like it is a bit early, unless I do spread out the posting of it. Part of me would like to do that because I tend to build up more of a readership if I don’t post it all at once.  What does everyone think? Should I post the prologue by itself and then follow with the first chapter a few days later?”

Decorated the sister’s house yesterday. She decided to go “Christmas Light” so not as many decorations went up. She paid us though so that was very cool.

Had a couple of Baileys and coffees while I was there but they didn’t settle well with me and it gave me a stomachache later.

My Devotion is next in updating but since I am working on the T’hy’la story it has to be on hold for the time being.

It’s cold here at work today so I am having to wear my coat in the office. It’s supposed to rain here on Wednesday and Thursday. Our electric company, Edison, has decided to shut our power off Thursday night overnight to work on some equipment in the area. It’s supposed to go off at 9 and not come back on until 4AM Friday morning, so swell.

Milo’s cousin who supposedly works for Disney is supposed to be getting us in this coming Sunday to Disneyland. We are skeptical because she tends to make up stories. We shall see if it happens! HA.

I have finished every last bit of Christmas shopping and even did a lot of wrapping this past weekend. I got a few things watched too, so it’s been nice. The nicest part is not being sick this year! I am very much hoping it stays that way. Last year I was so sick I ended up having seizures. I also broke a bottle and gave my hand a very nasty cut. It’s a scar now. For months afterward the scar tissue hurt, but surprisingly, it doesn’t anymore. So far, everything has been better this year, so I am crossing my fingers and toes.





Home, Flash Fic, November 30, 2018

close up of christmas decoration hanging on tree
Photo by Gary Spears on

It was silly to care, I knew that.

Spock didn’t. It was just another day to him. Probably always had been. And he only indulged his illogical mate over the years.

I got it. I did.

But still, I stood looking out the window of our house on New Vulcan. For what? I didn’t know. Normally, we might have been in Riverside this time of year, but because of Spock’s ambassadorial duties, this year we were on New Vulcan.

Except that Spock had been called away and here I was alone.

Waiting for my husband to come home.

How pathetic.

I turned away from the window with a sigh and looked out over our house. I’d put up a small tree. Even decorated it. By myself. I felt more than a little foolish to have bothered.

“Computer stop Christmas music playlist.”

The strains of holiday music abruptly ceased. I eyed my gingerbread flavored tea dispassionately and picked up the cup and poured it out into the sink.

“Time to grow up, Jim,” I told myself out loud.

I was never going to be able to recreate happy holiday times that just never existed.

The first year Spock and I had been a couple, I had mentioned Christmas.

His face had gone quite blank.

“Didn’t you ever, I don’t know, celebrate some kind of holiday with Uhura?” And it had been hard to even say that, because I was still a little sensitive about the whole Spock and Uhura were a couple for so long crap.

“Nyota respected my Vulcan cultural differences.”

I had shrunk back then from the embrace we’d been in, feeling as though I had been slapped. I turned away, desperate to hide the hurt I was certain showed.

“Jim, that is not what I meant. That came out wrong,” Spock insisted.

“Sure. I have to get back to the bridge.”


And it had been better later. We’d had a small celebration, which I had been expanding on or at least trying to maintain ever since.

Now, back in the present, I sighed with regret and figured I might as well just take everything down and put it away. For good this time. It seemed ridiculous now that I’d brought everything with me to New Vulcan.

A week ago when Sarek had stopped by to see if I needed anything while Spock was away, I’d seen the barest hint of disapproval in his eyes at my Christmas decorations. He hid it well, but I’d seen it.

Sometimes I felt as though I had been the one doing all the compromising. I knew that wasn’t fair, I did. But I was sad and lonely and depressed at that moment and all I could see was everything negative.

I grabbed a plastic box and took it over to the tree to begin to remove the ornaments. The first one I removed was a tiny little replica of Vulcan Prime. I’d found it in a little Alpine Christmas shop on Earth in Germany. I’d been kind of thrilled at the time at my find but of course when I’d shown my purchase to Spock he’d made some dismissive comment about how a tiny little ornament could never really represent his planet.

I should have thrown it away then, I thought, as I took it down and put it in the box.

Nyota respected my Vulcan cultural differences.

“Yeah, well fuck you,” I said out loud. “And her too. I’m not fucking Nyota.”

“For which I am grateful.”

I dropped the ornament I held, a squirrel holding an acorn, and turned in shock to see my husband standing just inside our house, wearing a black cloak and a turtle neck sweater in a blue that matched my eyes. I know, he’d told me he’d picked it out for that very reason.


He inclined his head. “What are you doing, ashayam?”

“Uh.” I set the box down and hurried over to him. “Never mind that. You’re home!” I threw my arms around him and he pulled me close, nosing into my hair by my ear. A thrill shot through me. “I thought you weren’t going to be back until next month.”

“I was able to finish earlier than anticipated,” Spock said, his arms holding my very close indeed. “I thought my presence would be welcome for your holiday celebration.”

“It is. Very much so.” I pulled back to kiss him full on the lips.

Spock grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the tree. “What are you doing?” he asked again.

I swallowed heavily. “Well. I, um. I was putting it all away.”

Spock looked down into the box and reached down to pull out the replica of Vulcan Prime. His gaze rose to mine. And I couldn’t hold it. I looked away, not wanting him to read me just then.

“Jim,” he said softly. “We can celebrate Christmas every day if that is what you wish.”

I laughed and turned red. “That’s not what I want. It’s not very special if it’s every day.”

His fingers touched my chin and forced me to meet his gaze. “I love you. Beyond all ordinary meaning of such simple words. I would give up all and anything to make you happy.”

My tears pricked and stung my eyes. “I don’t want you to give up who you are or anything else. I just—”

“I know.” Spock drew me close again, still holding the ornament at the same time. “I made it back here today to be with you, as I knew you would want. I know you, ashayam. Better than I know myself at times. I never want you to change. You are my beautiful mate.”

“Spock,” I whispered into his neck.

He reached past me to put the ornament back on the tree. “Come. Let’s have some of that gingerbread tea you love so much.”

I smiled. “Yeah?”

“Indeed. And perhaps we can even replicate cookies.”

“Now you’re talking!” I laughed and pulled him toward the kitchen. And my heart was light. Spock was home.

Briefly! Writing Related

The Mysterious One has been updated. The weirdness of their planet continues. Look for our favorite Vulcan to make an appearance in the chapter after this one.

I am now going to be for the foreseeable future working on my T’hy’la Bang story. I have about 1300 words done but I need to seriously get cracking on it.

I was able to update two other stories this week, Nine Lives and The Mysterious One. I also finished all my Flash Fics for this year, as you know, and have them scheduled.

I finished the Christmas story, That Glorious Song of Old, as well, and will be posting it in the near future. It’s a few chapters but I intend to just post the whole thing on the day I post. You are welcome to comment on each chapter though if you want. I love that!

That’s it!

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